Great Fixture (28th November - this Friday)

Gentlemen we play Brynithel this Friday night on Eugene Cross Park - Ebbw Vale, kick off 7.15, meet at the club 5.45. Any problems let me know.

We still have training on Thursday.

CU 2morrow
Glyn Moon FC not TM

The Dawin Awards - This is be funny

I though the collective twisted mind of Beaufort RFC would like this. I laughed till a little bit of wee came out


Darwin Awards
A Darwin Award is a tongue-in-cheek "honor" named after evolutionary theorist Charles Darwin. Awards have been given for people who "do a service to Humanity by removing themselves from the Gene pool", i.e., lose the ability to reproduce either by death or sterilization in a stupid fashion. According to Wendy Northcutt, author of the Darwin Award books: "The Awards honor people who ensure the long-term survival of the human race by removing themselves from the gene pool in a sublimely idiotic fashion." The Darwin Award books state that an attempt is made to disallow urban legends from the awards, but some older "winners" have been 'grandfathered' to keep their awards.

Examples Include

Examples of Darwin award winners include:

• Juggling active handgrenades (Croatia, 2001),^[6]
• Leaving a lit cigarette in a warehouse full of explosives
• Jumping out of a plane to film skydivers without wearing a parachute (US., 1987),^[7]
• Trying to get enough light to look down the barrel of a loaded muzzleloader gun using a cigarette lighter (U.S., 1996),^[8]
• Using a lighter to illuminate a fuel tank to make sure it contains nothing flammable (Brazil, 2003),
• Attempting to play Russian Roulette with a semi-automatic pistol that automatically reloads the next round into the chamber,^[9]
• or attempting Russian roulette with an unexploded landmine
• Crashing through a window and falling to your death in trying to demonstrate that the window is unbreakable,^[10]

Check Out the Web site,

Gomez Corner - Childrens Heath

Most children are still failing to eat five pieces of fruit and veg a day, though their levels of physical activity do meet current Government recommendations, according to the SPEEDY study (Sport, Physical activity and Eating behaviour: Environmental Determinants in Young people). The original results for the study are published in the open access journal BMC Public Health.
Our Resident Shaman (wise man)and prospective father Justin "Gomez" Roberts says

"If kids wont eat their greens, simpy dye or paint their food a more attractive colour such as red or purple"

We can all sleep soundly in our beds, knowing that Gomez has life problems sussed.

Points Tally

Here you my lovelies

	T	C	P	D	Total
Dilwyn Smith	1	17	7	1	63
Kyle Purnell	7				35
Mike White	7				35
Jason Taylor	6				30
Andrew Morgan	6				30
Matthew Burrows	4				20
Craig Bennet	3				15
Matty Jordan	0	2	2	0	10
Justin Roberts	2				10
Andy Hill	1				5
Darryl Roper	1				5
Justin Bennet	1				5
Lee Hazelwood	1				5
Paul Francis	1				5
Geraint Phillips	1				5
Marcus Rose	1				5
Scott Hughes-Griffiths	1				5
Glyn Moon	1				5
Daniel Purchase	1				5

Abersychan Match Report

BEAUFORT RFC 31 POINTS ABERSYCHAN 16 POINTS

Beaufort booked themselves a quarter final spot in the Welsh Districts cup with a 31 point to 16 win against Abersychan. Beaufort will take the win but it was not one of their better performances. The match was peppered with two many penalties particularly in the contentious ruck area and the game suffered accordingly

Beaufort wanted to win the game in a flourish and it was twenty minutes before the visitors were able to emerge from their own half . By this time Beaufort had struck twice from close range with two unconverted touchdowns all which were crafted from a well organised line out. No 8 Andrew Morgan was the beneficiary of the first and his flanker Jason Taylor stormed over for a second

Abersychan, who were top of the Newport and Pontypool District league and undefeated this season, failed to find any real momentum to seriously challenge the home side until very late into the encounter. They relied heavily on their standoff to kick them out of trouble and to keep some sort of fingertip hold on the scoreline from penalties which he kicked superbly from long range. He got one before half time but Beaufort struck back from another well worked ploy at the line out. Morgan was again on hand to grab his second try and Beaufort's third for a half time scoreline of 15 points to 3

Immediately following the break Aberyschan kicked a second penalty . Then came the high light of the match which brought Beaufort's fourth and best try . Set up by standoff Dylan Smith his weighted pass to Michael White was perfectly timed for the centre to leave the defence trailing in his wake and treat the supporters to an example of finishing brilliance .

The visitors did get a third penalty but Beaufort killed off the match with three of their own kicked by Smith . When the last rites were being played out Abersychan did show enough snap and ambition to breach the Beaufort defence for their solitary try scored under the posts but it was all too late to change the outcome.

It was in the line out where Beaufort's superiority was most pronounced. Lock Mark Heasely had a fine match as did new comer Gavin Williams in his first start of the season at hooker. But Beaufort's star man on the day was in form prop Justin Roberts.

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

The Gav Interview

It was difficult to be pressing to such an amiable chap. Id just like to point out the if anyone tries to sabotage my interviews anymore they will have a punch in the ovaries or neck.

Sorry about the sideyness I was slighlty tiddled and held the phone the wrong way.

SPOONS - The Daniel Purchase Story

I dont think there is anything I can add to this


apart from the point that I hope that if I ever need any Civil Engineering i'll do it myself (I can't see it happening though)

Last Nites session!!

Chaps i hope you enjoyed last nites training session. It certainly was different but i think you will all agree that it was a bloody hard workout!! I seriously want to thank Jonathan Phillips for his excellent tuition , but he wasn't as good as Janice Battersby!!!!

In all seriousness it was good aerobic session that will come in handy for the tough Worthington cup clash with Abersychan this Saturday, kick off 2.00pm.

This will be a stern test for us and if we dip anywhere below the performance that we showed against Markham, i will be very disappointed!!!

They are a proud village side and wont be travelling up to our patch to be canon fodder!!!

So get your heads on it!!!

I'm working Thursday so I'll see you on Saturday. Remember it's a 2.00pm kick off, so we will meet at 12.30pm prompt.

Glyn Moon FC not TM

Gomez Corner - Binge Drinking

In the UK, some areas of the media are spending a great deal of time reporting on what they see as a social ill that is becoming more prevalent as time passes. In 2003, the cost of binge drinking was estimated as £20 billion.^[10] In response, the government has introduced measures to deter disorderly behavior and sales of alcohol to people under 18, with special provisions in place during the holiday season. In January 2005, it was reported that one million admissions to UK accident and emergency units each year are alcohol-related; in many cities, Friday and Saturday nights are by far the busiest periods for ambulance services.

Gomez Says

"This could be solved if everyone stopped binging like idiots and stuck to 15-20 pints on a saturday and a quick 12 on a sunday morning"

Another of the worlds problems solved by our resident troubleshooter and the next mayor of Blaenau Gwent Justin "Gomez" Roberts

Lets Get Physical

This Video doesnt need any introduction. All the laughing, joking and mickey taking of Mr Phillips soon was replaced by oxgen starved pantingthoroughly enjoyed it. Jon you are a man amongst men. Well done everybody, Club X Saturday?

Training 2nite!! 10th November 2008

Gentlemen, the venue for training 2nite has slightly changed. We wont be training on the field (its waterlogged)! We will be having an aerobic session in the club!! Jonathan Phillips who has an aerobic instructors badge has kindly volunteered to orchestrate the session.


Legs warmers and Lycra shorts are optional!!!!

Game this Friday (7th November 2008)

Gentlemen, we do ave a game this Friday, we play Treherbet 2nds away. We meet at the club at 5.30pm. Any probs give us a bell.

Thanks
Glyn FC not TM

Driving directions to Treherbert, Treorchy, UK

24.3 mi – about 40 mins
Ebbw Vale
UK
1. Head northwest on B4486/Steel Works Rd toward Station Approach
0.2 mi

2.Turn left at B4486/Cemetery Rd
367 ft

3.Slight left to stay on B4486/Cemetery Rd
0.4 mi

4.Turn left to stay on B4486/Cemetery Rd
75 ft

5.At Cemetery Corner Roundabout, take the 4th exit onto A4046/College Rd
Continue to follow A4046
0.8 mi

6.At the roundabout, take the 1st exit onto A465/Heads of the Valleys Rd
Continue to follow A465
Go through 7 roundabouts
14.6 mi

7.At the roundabout, take the 1st exit onto A4061/Rhigos Rd
0.7 mi

8.At the roundabout, take the 1st exit onto A4061
7.5 mi
Treherbert
Treorchy, UK

Get Well Soon Marcus

I speak on behalf of all the boys in saying get well soon Marcus hope your knee sort itselfs out.

I bet Jon Phillips being first on the scene and running down shouting "ambulance ambulance" like a cross between Daffydd and John Inman really put you at ease.


All the best butty keep your chin up

A Forwards Coaches View (Beaufort v Markham 2008)

Phew!!! What can i say!!!

Yesterdays performance was one of the best games that I have been involved in since I've been at the club and that's 10 years now and also, hugely satisfying from a coaches perspective.

I have been asking the chaps for weeks now, to stand up and be counted, take the game by the scruff, hit the ground running. I'm running out of footballing analogies here, but i think you now what i mean!!

We certainly did that and we blew Markham away from the off. Certain players became men yesterday and was purring or was it panting with delight!!

From a forwards coach point of the view it was nearly faultless ( i said nearly!). The scrum was massively powerful from the off. We won all our line outs - not even the the top teams in world can boast that 1!!!! Its starting to sink in, the importance of quick ball at the contact area and the drills that we are doing in training are paying dividends. Buzz had his easiest day sat behind the 4wards yesterday. It gave him more time to get the Shirlee's moving behind.

We asked for maturity in the second half as we playing into a slight gale. For the most part that's exactly what we done, we moved the ball close quarters and that's where rocky, Gomez and Craig come into their own. Its so difficult to defend against and when we get behind teams we invariably score.

Anyway b4 i go, we will have a game on Friday. I don't know who as yet. Like i said b4 the Rhymney game, the friendlies we will be playing are as important as the league fixtures, it keeps the continuity going and after Saturdays game, i cant wait to play next!!!

CU 2mrw, ur's as ever Glyn Moon FC, not TM!!!!

Markham Report and Pictures

BEAUFORT RFC 46 POINTS MARKHAM RFC 17 POINTS

To view the pictures of the game click here if it asks you for a username and password it is themightybeaufort@yahoo.com with ihatestupid as a password

This was an impressive team performance by the home side achieving a 5th league victory. They scored 8 tries to 3 conceded earning themselves a bonus point to keep them in touch with the division 6 league leaders

Their front row trio of Macus Rose, Glyn Moon and Justin Roberts soon had the measure of their opposite numbers and much of this landslide success can be attributed to the solid scrummage platform from where Beaufort were able to launch their attacks With the benefit of a strong following the host side were 10 points up in as many minutes from two power full drives emanating from the scrum Dan Purchase and Craig Bennett latched on to the final passes to make the touchdowns Then Markham showed what a potent striking outfit they can be when from a charge down kick they counter attacked from a deep position to cross over in the corner

Beaufort struck back on the half hour when scrum half Matthew Burrows who, forever sniping on the fringes, was the beneficiary of another blistering forward surge. Before the interval Craig Bennnet had shipped aboard a second try and Beaufort 4th try for a comfortable lead of 22 point lead to 5

After the break momentum might have switched to Markham with a strong wind advantage. It seemed that way when they counterattacked to score a length of the field try under the posts to bring them right back into contention. Beaufort extinguished that hope immediately in ruthless fashion when prop Glyn Moon.got the 5th try . It was the defining moment of the match. Markham lacked the power and ambition to retrieve the situation and sensing victory Beaufort finished them off with 3 further touchdowns . No 8 Bennett got a hat trick , his first for the club. With clinical finishing precision Jason Taylor got the 7th before wing Kyle Purnell scrambled over for the last. Markham did get a consolation try towards the end to make their final score more respectable

Honours deservedly went to the home side in what was a praiseworthy team performance .However, Man Loving Centre Geraint Phillips impressed again in the centre Flanker Jason Taylor on fire this season had another marvellous match, Stuart Francis delivered at the line out and Burrows was superb in marshal ling his forwards, But Beaufort's star player on the day was Craig Bennett for his try tally and his overall commitment in the ruck and around the fringes.

Gomez Corner

"If life is getting you down treat it like a dog would, if you cant eat it or shag it, piss on it and walk away"

Marcus Ros Interview

Here is the Marcus Rose interview which was seemingly done whilst Marcus stood on Weeble. Im still buzzing from yesterday it was bloody lovely