Xmas bash (cocktail club 2008)

Cocktail Club Xmas do 2008!!!

Here's some photographs from the Cocktail Christmas bash. Remember its by invitation only!!!! Sorry Dudey, Alun!!!!!

More fotos!! Llan v Fort 2008

A pro photographer was at the game, heres his website. Theres some nice photos on here but beware you have to buy them!!!!!

www.awilliamsphotography.co.uk

A few Fotos from the LLandrindod game

A Coaches View (Llandrindod Wells v Beaufort 2008)

Where do I start?

A very, very disappointing performance was served up by Beaufort on Saturday against opposition who were holy beatable!! Not being disrespectful to Llandrindod, but if the Beaufort players who performed so well against the likes of Markham, Blackwood Stars or any of the previous games this season, had turned up on Saturday, we should and would have beaten Llandrindod!!

In reality though, Llandrindod Wells were full value for their win and realistically, with all the territory they had, it should have been a far more comfortable afternoon for them.

I don't want to hyper analyse the game cos its gone now and good luck to Lllan, they play Brynecthin home in the next round!!!!

My main priority now is to galvanise this team. We are out of the 2 cups and with very, very tough league encounters coming up, it could all go tits up and all the hard work we all have put in ,will have been lost!!!

Testing times chaps, but I'm confident that we have a group of players that are ready, willing and able to put in whats required!!

Enough from me. Have a nice Christmas everyone.

CU soon Glyn Moon - Forwards coach, not Team Manager!!!!!

Llandrindod Match Report

Date:- 20th December 2008

Venue:- Llandrinnod Wells

Fixture :- Quarter Final Welsh Districts Cup

Beaufort failed in their bid to reach the semi finals of the Welsh District Cup. They didn't do justice to themselves in a match that they couldn't settle into and at times looked to be in disarray . Llandrinnod Wells from Division 6 (Central) by contrast looked comfortable from the kick off despite being driven back in the scrums . Their No 8 mitigated the damage this might have caused to deprive Beaufort making any telling advantage. Wherever possible they put plenty of width on their game which Beaufort failed to do and kicked with much more accuracy and aplomb

Although it was thirty minutes into the match before the first score came, territorially the home side had the better of the exchanges . They kicked a penalty to edge their way into the lead . Then Beaufort were undone by some sloppy passing and handling . This led to a turnover and the hosts first try was scored out wide and gave them an 8 point lead without reply up to the break.

The second half started for the hosts where they left off while Beaufort trundled through the motions without any thrust or pace to their play. The mid Wales side then made a lightening break down the flank and found an unmarked player to score a second touchdown in the corner. There might have been more had it not been for some courageous tackling from fullback Matthew Burrows making him Beaufort's man of the match

Then both sides made a raft of substitutions and this injection of fresh players did benefit Beaufort. Andrew Morgan took up the No 8 role and he began to inject some urgency and thrust to make the hard yards and provide a platform for his forwards to launch attacks. Beaufort had a good final quarter spell and from a driving scrum half back Damon Morris crashed over for a try leaving Dylan Smith a simple conversion.

Sadly for Beaufort they could not improve on this and it was the last score of the contest.

Beaufort return to League duty on 3rd January with a home fixture against New Panteg

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

Get Yourself Wound Up to Smash LLandrindod

Listen to this for saturday I know its American Football but it is very relevant.

If this dont get you wound up for saturday nothing will.


Get Stuck in Saturday

St Julians Match Report

Date :- 13th December 2008

Venue:- Beaufort

Fixture:- WRU League Divs ion 6

BEAUFORT RFC 24 POINTS ST JULIANS (NEWPORT) RFC 3 POINTS

Beaufort got themselves back to the winning habit after last weeks disappointment against Blackwood. They played all the creative rugby that brought them four well orchestrated tries against the Newport outfit to earn them a bonus point and keep them in touch with the top of Divsion 6.

St Julian's came with a jumbo pack and a game plan to stampede their hosts into submission. This failed to work and the only noticeable Plan B they offered was to slow the game down. In this area they had a modicum of success otherwise the try count could have been a lot higher

Beaufort started the match with menace in their stride and a cutting edge in their play to keep their opponents defence fully occupied. A diagonal run by Mike White was collected by stand off Steve Hathaway and his exquisite kick to the corner allowed enough space and time for wing Kyle Purnell to pounce for Beaufort's f first try after 5 minutes.

The next was conjured up from off the top possession at the line out cleanly taken by Mark Heasely . Hathaway floated a pass to White and a sublime piece of skill from the centre sliced open the defence. His unchecked thirty meters sprint to the try line brought a second try under the posts. Hathaway kicked a simple conversion and Beaufort were 12 points up at the end of the first quarter

The third try was Beaufort's best effort . Full back Matthew Burrows slipped into the attack from deep and he linked splendidly with his three quarters . A fine piece of interplay followed . The beneficiary was Daniel Purchase who had impressively covered the yardage to make an extra man to stretch out for a touch down in the corner . Hathaway's wide angled kick split the uprights and Beaufort looked good for a lot more tries

A Beaufort sin binning gave St Julian's some respite and they kicked a penalty before the break but it was a small return for them in a first half which was dominated by the home side

They did have a better second half but not before Beaufort had scored a fourth try. Jason Taylor pinched a ball at a breakdown 15 metres out. From a following scrum Hathaway unleashed his backs and Burrows touchline run gave Beaufort the bonus try

St Julian's then had their best patch. Their threeuarters were occasionally dangerous but the main thrust of their assault came from their heavy pack . However , their ball carriers met a a rock solid Beaufort's defence that remained impressive until he final whistle

Beaufort can be well pleased with their young blades which was a testament to their erstwhile youth policy. At loose head Matthew Harding stood up well to his more experienced opponent. Daniel Purchase was a class act at open side flanker and Lee Roper on the wing showed he has all the attributes to make the position his own to keep. t But the match was superbly controlled by veteran standoff Hathaway to ensure his team were always in the ascendancy

There were a few candidates for Beaufort's star player but Michael White edged it . Sadly after this week's Welsh Districts Cup quarter final at Llandrudnod Wells Beaufort will miss his services for a few months when he undergoes surgery to an old shoulder injury.

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

The Geraint Phillips Show

Sorry Ive been away my computer because it was knackered, I tried a gas computer but I couldnt get the pilot light going. Any way I digress.

Here is the Geraint Phillips Show. Ol' Rhino is of to OZ, the oppostion wont miss his cunching tackles and bursting runs or the constant berating from his missus (she reduced a roider to tears at Blackwood Stars). All the best Rhino you fanny of a drinker.

Blackwood Stars Match Report

Date:- 6th December 2006

Venue :- Blackwood

Fixture:- Second Round Cyrus Davis Cup/ WRU League Division 6

BLACKWOOD STARS RFC 8 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 0

It was a double blow for Beaufort losing to Blackwood in what was a double headed fixture to determine the second round tie of th Gwent District Cyrus Davis Cup and the League. It was though a closely fought encounter with for long periods both sides failing to unlock the other's defence

Beaufort started well but they suffered a crisis in the lineout. This ultimately proved to be the decisive factor in Beaufort's demise . By contrast Blackwood's linout was well organised and the corner stone of their current success to make them undefeated at the top of Division 6. This dominance allowed their half backs to tactically kick the corners and keep Beaufort pinned down territorarily

There was no score at the break which demonstrated how tight the exchanges were but just before the hour a neat chip over Beaufort's aggressive defence had its cover scrambling back. A failuure to check the loose ball allowed Blackwood to hoof the ball to the line which rewarded them with the only try of the match.

This was the defining moment because after that Blackwood kept control and made sure of a penalty attempt to stretch the score to 8 points to nil.

In the final quarter Beaufort did let loose a barrage of attacks but the home side were content to soak up the pressure to ride the match to no side. Flanker Andrew Morgan and centre Mike White did carve up the defence on two occasions which might have brought a better result. Also their only kickable penalties came too late to make any differnce . However Beaufort can have no quarrel with the final result. Their defence was suberb and their commitment could not be faulted . Centre Geriant Griffiths represented this commitmment in no small measure which was why he was selected Beaufort's man of the match.

This week Beaufort face the jumbo pack of St Julians( Newport) RFC at home in their next league fixture .

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

Great Fixture (28th November - this Friday)

Gentlemen we play Brynithel this Friday night on Eugene Cross Park - Ebbw Vale, kick off 7.15, meet at the club 5.45. Any problems let me know.

We still have training on Thursday.

CU 2morrow
Glyn Moon FC not TM

The Dawin Awards - This is be funny

I though the collective twisted mind of Beaufort RFC would like this. I laughed till a little bit of wee came out


Darwin Awards
A Darwin Award is a tongue-in-cheek "honor" named after evolutionary theorist Charles Darwin. Awards have been given for people who "do a service to Humanity by removing themselves from the Gene pool", i.e., lose the ability to reproduce either by death or sterilization in a stupid fashion. According to Wendy Northcutt, author of the Darwin Award books: "The Awards honor people who ensure the long-term survival of the human race by removing themselves from the gene pool in a sublimely idiotic fashion." The Darwin Award books state that an attempt is made to disallow urban legends from the awards, but some older "winners" have been 'grandfathered' to keep their awards.

Examples Include

Examples of Darwin award winners include:

• Juggling active handgrenades (Croatia, 2001),^[6]
• Leaving a lit cigarette in a warehouse full of explosives
• Jumping out of a plane to film skydivers without wearing a parachute (US., 1987),^[7]
• Trying to get enough light to look down the barrel of a loaded muzzleloader gun using a cigarette lighter (U.S., 1996),^[8]
• Using a lighter to illuminate a fuel tank to make sure it contains nothing flammable (Brazil, 2003),
• Attempting to play Russian Roulette with a semi-automatic pistol that automatically reloads the next round into the chamber,^[9]
• or attempting Russian roulette with an unexploded landmine
• Crashing through a window and falling to your death in trying to demonstrate that the window is unbreakable,^[10]

Check Out the Web site,

Gomez Corner - Childrens Heath

Most children are still failing to eat five pieces of fruit and veg a day, though their levels of physical activity do meet current Government recommendations, according to the SPEEDY study (Sport, Physical activity and Eating behaviour: Environmental Determinants in Young people). The original results for the study are published in the open access journal BMC Public Health.
Our Resident Shaman (wise man)and prospective father Justin "Gomez" Roberts says

"If kids wont eat their greens, simpy dye or paint their food a more attractive colour such as red or purple"

We can all sleep soundly in our beds, knowing that Gomez has life problems sussed.

Points Tally

Here you my lovelies

	T	C	P	D	Total
Dilwyn Smith	1	17	7	1	63
Kyle Purnell	7				35
Mike White	7				35
Jason Taylor	6				30
Andrew Morgan	6				30
Matthew Burrows	4				20
Craig Bennet	3				15
Matty Jordan	0	2	2	0	10
Justin Roberts	2				10
Andy Hill	1				5
Darryl Roper	1				5
Justin Bennet	1				5
Lee Hazelwood	1				5
Paul Francis	1				5
Geraint Phillips	1				5
Marcus Rose	1				5
Scott Hughes-Griffiths	1				5
Glyn Moon	1				5
Daniel Purchase	1				5

Abersychan Match Report

BEAUFORT RFC 31 POINTS ABERSYCHAN 16 POINTS

Beaufort booked themselves a quarter final spot in the Welsh Districts cup with a 31 point to 16 win against Abersychan. Beaufort will take the win but it was not one of their better performances. The match was peppered with two many penalties particularly in the contentious ruck area and the game suffered accordingly

Beaufort wanted to win the game in a flourish and it was twenty minutes before the visitors were able to emerge from their own half . By this time Beaufort had struck twice from close range with two unconverted touchdowns all which were crafted from a well organised line out. No 8 Andrew Morgan was the beneficiary of the first and his flanker Jason Taylor stormed over for a second

Abersychan, who were top of the Newport and Pontypool District league and undefeated this season, failed to find any real momentum to seriously challenge the home side until very late into the encounter. They relied heavily on their standoff to kick them out of trouble and to keep some sort of fingertip hold on the scoreline from penalties which he kicked superbly from long range. He got one before half time but Beaufort struck back from another well worked ploy at the line out. Morgan was again on hand to grab his second try and Beaufort's third for a half time scoreline of 15 points to 3

Immediately following the break Aberyschan kicked a second penalty . Then came the high light of the match which brought Beaufort's fourth and best try . Set up by standoff Dylan Smith his weighted pass to Michael White was perfectly timed for the centre to leave the defence trailing in his wake and treat the supporters to an example of finishing brilliance .

The visitors did get a third penalty but Beaufort killed off the match with three of their own kicked by Smith . When the last rites were being played out Abersychan did show enough snap and ambition to breach the Beaufort defence for their solitary try scored under the posts but it was all too late to change the outcome.

It was in the line out where Beaufort's superiority was most pronounced. Lock Mark Heasely had a fine match as did new comer Gavin Williams in his first start of the season at hooker. But Beaufort's star man on the day was in form prop Justin Roberts.

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

The Gav Interview

It was difficult to be pressing to such an amiable chap. Id just like to point out the if anyone tries to sabotage my interviews anymore they will have a punch in the ovaries or neck.

Sorry about the sideyness I was slighlty tiddled and held the phone the wrong way.

SPOONS - The Daniel Purchase Story

I dont think there is anything I can add to this


apart from the point that I hope that if I ever need any Civil Engineering i'll do it myself (I can't see it happening though)

Last Nites session!!

Chaps i hope you enjoyed last nites training session. It certainly was different but i think you will all agree that it was a bloody hard workout!! I seriously want to thank Jonathan Phillips for his excellent tuition , but he wasn't as good as Janice Battersby!!!!

In all seriousness it was good aerobic session that will come in handy for the tough Worthington cup clash with Abersychan this Saturday, kick off 2.00pm.

This will be a stern test for us and if we dip anywhere below the performance that we showed against Markham, i will be very disappointed!!!

They are a proud village side and wont be travelling up to our patch to be canon fodder!!!

So get your heads on it!!!

I'm working Thursday so I'll see you on Saturday. Remember it's a 2.00pm kick off, so we will meet at 12.30pm prompt.

Glyn Moon FC not TM

Gomez Corner - Binge Drinking

In the UK, some areas of the media are spending a great deal of time reporting on what they see as a social ill that is becoming more prevalent as time passes. In 2003, the cost of binge drinking was estimated as £20 billion.^[10] In response, the government has introduced measures to deter disorderly behavior and sales of alcohol to people under 18, with special provisions in place during the holiday season. In January 2005, it was reported that one million admissions to UK accident and emergency units each year are alcohol-related; in many cities, Friday and Saturday nights are by far the busiest periods for ambulance services.

Gomez Says

"This could be solved if everyone stopped binging like idiots and stuck to 15-20 pints on a saturday and a quick 12 on a sunday morning"

Another of the worlds problems solved by our resident troubleshooter and the next mayor of Blaenau Gwent Justin "Gomez" Roberts

Lets Get Physical

This Video doesnt need any introduction. All the laughing, joking and mickey taking of Mr Phillips soon was replaced by oxgen starved pantingthoroughly enjoyed it. Jon you are a man amongst men. Well done everybody, Club X Saturday?

Training 2nite!! 10th November 2008

Gentlemen, the venue for training 2nite has slightly changed. We wont be training on the field (its waterlogged)! We will be having an aerobic session in the club!! Jonathan Phillips who has an aerobic instructors badge has kindly volunteered to orchestrate the session.


Legs warmers and Lycra shorts are optional!!!!

Game this Friday (7th November 2008)

Gentlemen, we do ave a game this Friday, we play Treherbet 2nds away. We meet at the club at 5.30pm. Any probs give us a bell.

Thanks
Glyn FC not TM

Driving directions to Treherbert, Treorchy, UK

24.3 mi – about 40 mins
Ebbw Vale
UK
1. Head northwest on B4486/Steel Works Rd toward Station Approach
0.2 mi

2.Turn left at B4486/Cemetery Rd
367 ft

3.Slight left to stay on B4486/Cemetery Rd
0.4 mi

4.Turn left to stay on B4486/Cemetery Rd
75 ft

5.At Cemetery Corner Roundabout, take the 4th exit onto A4046/College Rd
Continue to follow A4046
0.8 mi

6.At the roundabout, take the 1st exit onto A465/Heads of the Valleys Rd
Continue to follow A465
Go through 7 roundabouts
14.6 mi

7.At the roundabout, take the 1st exit onto A4061/Rhigos Rd
0.7 mi

8.At the roundabout, take the 1st exit onto A4061
7.5 mi
Treherbert
Treorchy, UK

Get Well Soon Marcus

I speak on behalf of all the boys in saying get well soon Marcus hope your knee sort itselfs out.

I bet Jon Phillips being first on the scene and running down shouting "ambulance ambulance" like a cross between Daffydd and John Inman really put you at ease.


All the best butty keep your chin up

A Forwards Coaches View (Beaufort v Markham 2008)

Phew!!! What can i say!!!

Yesterdays performance was one of the best games that I have been involved in since I've been at the club and that's 10 years now and also, hugely satisfying from a coaches perspective.

I have been asking the chaps for weeks now, to stand up and be counted, take the game by the scruff, hit the ground running. I'm running out of footballing analogies here, but i think you now what i mean!!

We certainly did that and we blew Markham away from the off. Certain players became men yesterday and was purring or was it panting with delight!!

From a forwards coach point of the view it was nearly faultless ( i said nearly!). The scrum was massively powerful from the off. We won all our line outs - not even the the top teams in world can boast that 1!!!! Its starting to sink in, the importance of quick ball at the contact area and the drills that we are doing in training are paying dividends. Buzz had his easiest day sat behind the 4wards yesterday. It gave him more time to get the Shirlee's moving behind.

We asked for maturity in the second half as we playing into a slight gale. For the most part that's exactly what we done, we moved the ball close quarters and that's where rocky, Gomez and Craig come into their own. Its so difficult to defend against and when we get behind teams we invariably score.

Anyway b4 i go, we will have a game on Friday. I don't know who as yet. Like i said b4 the Rhymney game, the friendlies we will be playing are as important as the league fixtures, it keeps the continuity going and after Saturdays game, i cant wait to play next!!!

CU 2mrw, ur's as ever Glyn Moon FC, not TM!!!!

Markham Report and Pictures

BEAUFORT RFC 46 POINTS MARKHAM RFC 17 POINTS

To view the pictures of the game click here if it asks you for a username and password it is themightybeaufort@yahoo.com with ihatestupid as a password

This was an impressive team performance by the home side achieving a 5th league victory. They scored 8 tries to 3 conceded earning themselves a bonus point to keep them in touch with the division 6 league leaders

Their front row trio of Macus Rose, Glyn Moon and Justin Roberts soon had the measure of their opposite numbers and much of this landslide success can be attributed to the solid scrummage platform from where Beaufort were able to launch their attacks With the benefit of a strong following the host side were 10 points up in as many minutes from two power full drives emanating from the scrum Dan Purchase and Craig Bennett latched on to the final passes to make the touchdowns Then Markham showed what a potent striking outfit they can be when from a charge down kick they counter attacked from a deep position to cross over in the corner

Beaufort struck back on the half hour when scrum half Matthew Burrows who, forever sniping on the fringes, was the beneficiary of another blistering forward surge. Before the interval Craig Bennnet had shipped aboard a second try and Beaufort 4th try for a comfortable lead of 22 point lead to 5

After the break momentum might have switched to Markham with a strong wind advantage. It seemed that way when they counterattacked to score a length of the field try under the posts to bring them right back into contention. Beaufort extinguished that hope immediately in ruthless fashion when prop Glyn Moon.got the 5th try . It was the defining moment of the match. Markham lacked the power and ambition to retrieve the situation and sensing victory Beaufort finished them off with 3 further touchdowns . No 8 Bennett got a hat trick , his first for the club. With clinical finishing precision Jason Taylor got the 7th before wing Kyle Purnell scrambled over for the last. Markham did get a consolation try towards the end to make their final score more respectable

Honours deservedly went to the home side in what was a praiseworthy team performance .However, Man Loving Centre Geraint Phillips impressed again in the centre Flanker Jason Taylor on fire this season had another marvellous match, Stuart Francis delivered at the line out and Burrows was superb in marshal ling his forwards, But Beaufort's star player on the day was Craig Bennett for his try tally and his overall commitment in the ruck and around the fringes.

Gomez Corner

"If life is getting you down treat it like a dog would, if you cant eat it or shag it, piss on it and walk away"

Marcus Ros Interview

Here is the Marcus Rose interview which was seemingly done whilst Marcus stood on Weeble. Im still buzzing from yesterday it was bloody lovely

	T	C	P	D	Total
Dilwyn Smith	1	13	4	1	46
Kyle Purnell	6				30
Mike White	6				30
Jason Taylor	4				20
Andrew Morgan	4				20
Matthew Burrows	3				15
Matty Jordan	0	2	2	0	10
Justin Roberts	2				10
Andy Hill	1				5
Darryl Roper	1				5
Justin Bennet	1				5
Lee Hazelwood	1				5
Paul Francis	1				5
Geraint Phillips	1				5
Marcus Rose	1				5
Scott Hughes-Griffiths	1				5

Here you go lovelies it keeps ticking over

Back, Crack and Sack Problems

Since the Bonk has been Knackering up my back Ive had it cracked so I wont get the sack (see where i was getting at ;))

Anyway I would really recommend going to see the best Chiropracter in Wales that I saw anyway, he is Gethin Jenkins Chiropracter plus loads of the Blues and the Dragons players . Plus he used to play rugby so he wont moan about scrummaging and how it s bad for you etc. Anyway have a look at him.

I would also reommend this yoga book, it is the best exercise I have done bar none, there is no poncey stuff attached to it just a difficult work out all thhe NFL players use it and its catching on in this country

A Coaches View Rhymney v Beaufort 2008

A funny old game was this one!!!

Possession wise and territory wise we probably shaded it but whereas we were poor in the contact area, Rhymney certainly weren't. 2 of their tries started well within their 22, where incidentally we were pressing hard to score. Our inability to hold onto the ball cost us dear and away they went to score at the other end!!!

The injuries were a bit of a worry, in the end we run out of subs!!! Bopper needs to seek specialist advice now cos his knee is a cause for concern. Justin Bennett is no longer the good looking Bennett brother!!! Sorry Shaldon!!! The rest are just battered and bruised!!!

We seem to be quiet and pensive before games and it takes us 10 Min's to get into the game, especially the forwards. I know, not everybody is into shouting and balling before the game but if that's what it takes for us to hit the ground running then we'll go down that road!!!

Next week it doesn't get any easier cos we host Markham, who like Rhymney will run the ball from anywhere!!! You have been warned!!!

Cu 2nite
Ur's as ever
Glyn Moon FC but Not TM!! Dudey SM

Video of Saturdays Game

I managed to get video footage from saturdays game, you may of nticed the man in the stands with the camera.

Rhymney Versus Beaufort 25/10/08

Rhymeny Match Report

RHYMNEY RFC 23 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 10 POINTS

Beaufort failed to do themselves justice in this friendly encounter in what was a sterile unconvincing performance . They allowed Rhymney to get into their stride and after the first quarter found themselves chasing the game. The home side took every chance to score points kicking two penalties. Then from a blistering counterattack they grabbed a try for an 11 point lead before Beaufort finally got the wake up call Centre Michael White took a quick penalty and unlocked the defence with relative ease for Beaufort's first try. It should have started a recovery but all too often Beaufort were undone in the contact area losing valuable possession. Their plight was not helped by a series of injuries with the loss of the entire starting back row who were put out of action before halftime and in the second half by two of their main strike force in three quarter line up

After the break Rhymney had superiority in numbers when Beaufort had a player yellow carded. They took advantage with a length of the field attack that earned them a try under the posts. Nothing seemed to be going right for the visitors . When they struck back with a whole volley of attacks at close range a try seemed a certainty. However the final pass was intercepted on the line. Rhymney broke clear and rubbed salt into the wound by running the whole length of the field for a third touchdown wide out which put the result beyond doubt.

Beaufort did get second try which was their best effort of the encounter . Some skillful handling worked wing Kyle Purnell into enough space for him to scuttle over in the corner for his sixth try of the season and the last score of the match

Prop forward Glyn Moon who never waived in his commitment was Beaufort's star man. His team will reassess the damage and seek to put matters right before a return to league duty next week against Markham at home

BARRIE CASWELL
PRESS OFFICER

Gomez Corner

Agriculture is responsible for an estimated 14 percent of the world's greenhouse gases. A significant portion of these emissions come from methane, which, in terms of its contribution to global warming, is 23 times more powerful than carbon dioxide. The U.S. Food and Agriculture Organization says that agricultural methane output could increase by 60 percent by 2030 [Source: Times Online]. The world's 1.5 billion cows and billions of other grazing animals emit dozens of polluting gases, including lots of methane. Two-thirds of all ammonia comes from cows.


In response to this our learned friend Justin "Gomez" Roberts would like to save our planet by simply:

"Kill a Cow, Save The Planet"

He has assured me that his single minded environmental crusade has meant his meat intake is on the up. The cow world refer to him as "mmoomooo" roughly translated as the "the sworn enemy of the cow empire"

Barrie Caswell Interview

Here is a meeting of some of two of the country's finest young minds. My Favourite interview to date, Mr Barrie Emmanuel Caswell.

Points Tally

	T	C	P	D	Total
Dilwyn Smith	1	13	4	1	46
Kyle Purnell	5				25
Mike White	5				25
Jason Taylor	4				20
Andrew Morgan	4				20
Matthew Burrows	3				15
Matty Jordan	0	2	2	0	10
Justin Roberts	2				10
Andy Hill	1				5
Darryl Roper	1				5
Justin Bennet	1				5
Lee Hazelwood	1				5
Paul Francis	1				5
Geraint Phillips	1				5
Marcus Rose	1				5

Could it be points tally or IQ? answers on a postcard

Are You Tough Enough

Have a try at tabata you do look a bit silly doing it, but its been perfiect for me as it has no impact on bonk or back.

Do this one Squats

Then this one Press Ups

Its blinking hard

New Feature Gomez's Corner

I am weeing my self in anticipation after Justin Gomez Roberts (seen here remembering all the happy times he spent with stupid) offered to pass on his knowledge and advice in a topical weekly column called Gomez's Corner.

The credit crunch is looming over everyone, and here Gomez passes his advice onto the world.


"If everyone is worried about money and that, why dont we just print more!"


Thanks for that Justin, keep posted for more pearls of wisdom from our modern prop forward.

Brokeback Beaufort

A major concern here regarding some of the boys getting ready to go out. This has been a bit difficult for me to understand as I like the old fashioned way of "dolling up for a night out"

I suppose "each to their own" but a further concern was Mr Keene recording on his mobile (for research purposes apparently).

Anyway at least the boys enjoyed the night out.

The Michael "Aesthetic Penis" White Interview

Here is the Michael White Interview, I couldnt seem to get it to flow, the main reason was that I had cornered Michael in a cubicle in the ladies gents (ooh er) in order to trap him with a particuarly smelly bottom burp which had previously killed off Malcolm "Anybody got a Nissan" Keane, so my sphincter control affected my concentration level. Apologies

Match Report

WHITEHEADS (NEWPORT) RFC 12 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 40 POINTS

This was a competent performance by Beaufort without them going into overdrive. They scored six tries against two conceded and in doing so earned an extra league point to keep them in the top four of Division 6

Whiteheads started in a flourish but Beaufort soon silenced them with a series of pick and drives. At the end of ten minute of action Beaufort were 14 points up from two tries and conversions. Flanker Andrew Morgan fastened on to the the first after a rumble towards opposition line. The second was a gem scored from an 80 metre dash . Centre Michael White set off at a pace too quick to call dazzling and touched down under the posts.

Beaufort then went into sleep mode and allowed Whiteheads against the run of play to catch them napping to score a try wide out to narrow the gap. These opportunities were rare and Beaufort's response was immediate . From a ball stolen at the line out the irrepressible Andrew Morgan was the eventual beneficiary and he crashed over for his second and Beaufort's third try. Stand off Dylan Smith kicked his third conversion and Beaufort reached the half way mark 21 points to 5 in the lead

Forever in the action White got the next. He charged down a clearance kick and had the speed to pounce on the loose ball and race to the line. Smith again kicked the conversion and Beaufort were hungry for more Whiteheads did their best to stop what was fast becoming a rout but despite all the heart and effort they lacked the power and wit to seriously dent the visitors. Beaufort then scored a again. With typical resounding thunder in form flanker Jason Taylor splintered the defence with Smith this time missing the conversion

Then play was delayed for over 10 minutes following a worrying injury to a Whitehead player. After the restart and for a while Beaufort failed to restore their rhythm and Whiteheads took advantage. They grabbed a try following a unchecked run in at the corner which was converted

However, Beaufort had the last say .They rolled remorsely forward in attack, their fitness now making a marked impact on their opponents and prop forward Justin Roberts popped up to help himself to the final touch down superbly converted by Smith

Beaufort are not yet the finished article but the team which is still comparatively young can be pleased with the result. Prop Marcus Rose had another fine match as did Daniel Purchase at the tail of the scrum. Locks Mark Heasely and Stuart Francis continue to impress and rule the line out but Beaufort's star man on the day for his all round contribution in attack, defence and his work in the contact area was Michael White .

With no league game next week Beaufort are looking for a friendly fixture at home.

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

A Coaches View Whitehaeds v Beaufort 2008

That's more like it!!! We showed in patches yesterday, the true Beaufort!!! I think we went a long way in exorcising the poor previous weeks performance. It's not 100% rosy though. Our indiscipline around the contact area is a mounting concern. Trust in your defence chaps!!! We are a strong defensive side, let the opposition make the mistakes.

The line outs went well. Gomez varied the line outs excellently. I think he's growing into the role of line out manager!! The scrums went well, they didn't have an easy time there. Marcus has shaken off his early season injuries and is playing well. The back row were industrious, i think the competition for places in the back row is upping every ones game, nice to see!!! The 2 second rows were everywhere yesterday, real athletes, strong in the first phase area.

The Shirlee's behind are fizzing also. Geraint is certainly living up to his nickname of rhino. He's a perfect foil 4 Mikey White who's mazy runs are killing teams. Daryll shook off the disappointment of last week and played his usual strong - get-over-the-gain-line-game!! There's also competition for places on the wing, Lee Roper had an impressive game yesterday. He was strong defensively and he occasionally showed what he could do with ball in hand.

Overall chaps its a 6/10 game.

Next week we haven't la eague game but we will have a game, as yet we don't know.

You wont see me next week in training, I'm back to work. So I'll see you on Saturday

Yours as ever Glyn Moon FC but not TM

Points Tally

Here you go lads, I wont see you this week my back is in half I might rest is against whiteheads
Sorry about excluding you Rhino it wasnt intentional

Love you Matthew "Half Time" Hopkins

	T	C	P	D	Total
Dilwyn Smith	1	8	4	1	36
Kyle Purnell	5				25
Jason Taylor	3				15
Mike White	3				15
Matthew Burrows	3				15
Matty Jordan	0	2	2	0	10
Andrew Morgan	1				5
Andy Hill	1				5
Darryl Roper	1				5
Justin Bennet	1				5
Justin Roberts	1				5
Lee Hazelwood	1				5
Paul Francis	1				5
Geraint Phillips	1				5
Marcus Rose	1				5

A Coaches View (Fort v Abertysswg)

A win's a win gentlemen. Sometimes you have to win ugly and the performance on Saturday was more uglier than the women in Caerphilly social club on a Friday nite!!!!

Passive scrums just don't suit us. They had their elderly players still trundling around the paddock in the 70th minute, whereas if they had to compete at scrum time they would have tired long b4 the 70-80th minute!!!

I know people don't deliberately knock the ball on but it was so uncharacteristic on Saturday. We raised the bar quite high with the game against Caerleon and we dipped quite alarmingly on Saturday. I won't dwell cos after all we won, its nice in a way to be critical when we are winning!!

We have a chance to redeem ourselves on Saturday when we travel away to Whiteheads. That again is a potential banana skin. Focus, focus is the word and hopefully in the 2 training sessions this week we'll see the Fort of old on Saturday.

Cu 2nite
Ur's as ever Glyn FC, TM and PC

Abertysswg Match Report

BEAUFORT RFC 25 POINTS ABERTYSSWG 8

Beaufort were not from from the top drawer in this encounter but still managed to conjure up three tries against one conceded in what was a scrappy and deeply unsatisfactory match

Abertysswg were unable to field a complete front row so from the outset the match was played with passive scrums . The first quarter trundled along lamentably lacking in energy and urgency . By then both teams had exchanged penalties before the game sparked into life. The visitors hoisted a high kick deep inside Beaufort's heartland which the defence failed to collect and secure. The Abertysswg attack were quick to react and pounced on the loose ball for the first touchdown of the game and the lead 8 points to 3

This did shake up the home side to respond but they suffered a handling crisis and on too many occasions conceded possession from a raft of dropped passes, knock ons and costly acts of indiscipline.They finally nailed their chances on the half hour . Clean possession from the line out was quickly shunted along the three quarters and switched back to give wing Kyle Purnell a free run to line and score wide out to draw the scores level

Beaufort's performance did improve after the interval. Their ball carriers were more effective than their opponents with flanker Jason Taylor spear heading the attacks with series of explosive bursts to keep the visitors defence overworked. Matthew Hopkins and Stuart Francis won some decent ball at the line but it was Paul Francis who caught the eye and won him the accolade of Beaufort's star man . It was Francis who on the hour broke clear from the tail of the scrum to splinter the Abertysswg defence on a thirty metre run. His off load found scrum half Matthew Burrows and he won the touchline foot race for the line to get Beaufort's second try which Matthew Jordan converted .

This was the defining score because after that Beaufort kept in control. Abertysswg lacked the real fire power to respond. Although for most of the match their first line defence had been impressive they gifted Beaufort the last try of the game scored following a comedy of errors. When Matthew Jordan's precision kick trickled in at the corner the quickly taken throw in failed to find its target . The ball was then hacked wildly across the try line to the posts where it bobbed and weaved to avoid contact with the Abertysswg defenders. Eventually prop Marcus Rose arrived to stretch out and ground the ball for the third try under the posts .Matthew Jordan converted and within five minutes kicked a penalty for a comfortable if not spectacular win.

Next weeks league match will be at Whiteheads Newport

2morrows game!! Beaufort v Abertysswg (11th Oct 2008)

Gentlemen, as you probably know, we play Abertysswg 2morrow. We meet at 1 o'clock , kick off 2.30 pm.

We had a full squad to choose from and there are several disappointed individuals this morning, having not even made the bench! All I can say is, that it is a long season and you will all have your fair share of game time. I will however re-iterate that 50/50 selection decisions sometimes come down to training attendance.

Remember, we as a selection committee are approachable and if you have a gripe then feel free to request a sit-down and we'll have a chat.

Remember it's good to talk.

Cu 2mrrow
Glyn

Points Tally and the Sock Monitor

Heres the points tally lovely boys.

	T	C	P	D	Total
Dilwyn Smith	1	8	4	1	36
Kyle Purnell	4				20
Jason Taylor	3				15
Mike White	3				15
Matthew Burrows	2				10
Andrew Morgan	1				5
Andy Hill	1				5
Darryl Roper	1				5
Justin Bennet	1				5
Justin Roberts	1				5
Lee Hazelwood	1				5
Paul Francis	1				5

Here's Steve Dai Mullet Hathaway working hard to make sure everybody got the right kit for saturday

Dudey 'Dai Mullet' Hathaway

Just a quick note chaps, its gr8 to have Dudey on board as the kit manager!!

A Coaches View (Caerleon v Beaufort 2008)

I was impressed with the performance of the chaps on Saturday. It was easily our best performance of the season. For the 1st time this year we were tactically aware and we played to the conditions perfectly. Dylan's kicking in the 2nd half was quite superb. He constantly turned their big forwards and you could see their heads drop quite visibly. They didn't have the armoury to score 50-60 yard tries cos our defence was quite awesome.

Realistically we finished the game at a canter and we were unlucky not to get the bonus point, but i would have just been satisfied on winning if you asked for my opinion before the game.

From a forwards point of view i was pleased, i was purring with some aspects in fact. Our fitness levels are excellent (could be better though). The scrum was strong at times but we lacked concentration at other times. They are 1 of the stronger scrummaging sides in the division, but i do have high standards. We'll work on the concentration issue in training. The line outs were a tad frustrating, mainly because my throwing in was erratic on times (i'll certainly work on that)
. The contact area is a concerning issue for me. Admittedly the ref was consistently inconsistent in this area and basically anything goes, but we still are a tad slow at clearing out, again we'll address this in training. All in all, like i said, the best performance of the season but they are sterner tests ahead!!!!

Tres Bien
7/10
Ur's as always
Coach Moon