Date :- 28th March 2009

Venue:- Beaufort

Fixture:- WRU Division 6 ( East )

BEAUFORT RFC 55 POINTS WHITEHEADS( NEWPORT) RFC 12 POINTS

Beaufort overwhelmed their Newport opponents in a nine try blitz to give them maximum points restoring them to third spot in division 6 in the league When the mood touches them Beaufort can be uncompromising in attack and in this encounter they were clinical in taking their chances.

Whiteheads were a better outfit than the scoreline suggests which belies their lowly position in the league . With a big pack their pick up and drive game did give the home side some problems They had superiority in numbers when Beaufort had a player sent to the sin bin and took advantage to drive for the line for their two first half ties

But an in form Beaufort had a much bigger bite on the day and five minutes shy of half time had the match won with the bonus points in the bag . Two tries apiece from three quarters Dylan Smith and Mike Vaughan and one from prop Justin Roberts with added conversions gave them a 31 point to 12 lead.

There was no respite for the visitors after the break .Wih a slight wind advantage Beaufort put plenty of width on their game. Wing Kyle Purnell who had a fine match was rewarded for his handling skills under the high ball with the next try . Strident efforts from Matthew Hopkins in the heart of the pack earned him and the side a further two, together with the accolade of being Beaufort's star player on the day. His second try took the scoreline beyond the 50 point barrier. Beaufort's captain Smith got the last just short of the final whistle to finish the match off at a canter.

Next week Beaufort head to Markham and a much tougher prospect to encounter.

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

New Panteg Match Report

Date:- 21st March 2008

Venue:- Beaufort

Fixture:- WRU league Division 6 ( East)

BEAUFORT RFC 36 POINTS NEW PANTEG RFC 10

It was six of the best from Beaufort to earn them a landslide success and maximum points against their league opponents. It was a thumping victory and at times played with with real electricity

The home side started well testing the New Panteg defence to its limits as they went through the phases. New Panteg held out for the first quarter but then cracks started to appear as Ben Harding Beaufort dynamic No 8 crashed over for the first of his three tries. Wing Kyle Purnell got the next latching on to a final pass to finish off a a blistering attack engineered by his forwards.

Beaufort then went into sleep mode and allowed the visitors to bring some pattern to their game in which their useful set of three quarters threatened to redress the situation

The first half ended with Beaufort's ten point lead still intact but just after the break a kick towards the New Panteg line was collected by their full back whose lightening break in a counterattack found yawning gaps in the Beaufort defence. The result was a try under the posts which was converted.

It proved to be a wake up call for the host side . They then let loose with a decisive barrage of unstoppable attacks that split open their opponents defence Matthew Burrows from fullback crafted the third try and Purnell finished it for his second . Ben Harding got the fourth, his second after a series of forward rumbles for the bonus points . New Panteg could only reply with a penalty and by the last quarter were reduced to shoring up an overworked defence.

Craig Bennett made a typical explosive charge from which try flanker Jason Taylor was the beneficiary touching down for the fifth try to put the result beyond doubt Then Ben Harding got the last, just reward for a splendid all round performance to claim his first hat trick for the club in a six try haul with Dylan Smith kicking three conversions.

This was a particularly good performance by the Beaufort pack where tight head prop Justin Roberts and his No 8 Ben Harding caught the eye to share the honours of star players on the day.

Next week Beaufort host Whiteheads (Newport) RFC in another league encounter

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

I would like to say a thank you to the people concerned who petitioned to bring back pat, i will endeavour as always to help you all with your problems and questions.



To Mr Dogsegg,

I understand your concerns with the issues arising from the tardiness of Mr Bransons train service but i think the problems lie deeper than that. The problem with space travel is that humans are traditionally built for visiting celestial heights, dogs yes, monkeys yes and even fish but for us its a no go. I can imagine the headlines Bransons Galactic Service Late and due to our physiological limitations we could possibly die because that lazy spacecraft driver is too busy finishing his breakfast over the bus i digress, its a bad idea from start to finish lets keep ourselves firmly planted to terrafirma.





To Stupid,

The conortations of these displays relate to the sexual alignment of the animals. Ritual arse licking is versed in our culture as much as in any and is a centuries old act. During the 2nd century the Incas, a civilised tribe of its time introduced this act as a pleasureable experience for the nobility. After a member of the ruling tribe deficaeted a commoner/peasant would be called upon to clean the aforementioned nobility's anus using only the tip of the tongue until the backend was polished and shiny. Arse licking is not as graphic now but is a term used for a person who wants to seek approval from someone who is deemed to be of a higher demographic status than themselves. Hope that helps you with your life.









Well Tarquin nothing like that has occured to me but i remember of a story of similar circumstances. A young beautiful lady caught he eye of a gent on a saturday night in The Griffen in Brynmawr. It was dark a the dancefloor full these star crossed lovers seemed destined to be, as they disco danced together he moved in for the killer kiss, smitten and full of sexual tension she jumped upon him with lustful exhuberance and they later left together for an evening of passionate lovemaking. As they writhed in a passionate embrace the man proceeded to perform a position called the reverse clancy which itself is a deep black art of sexual perversion, they fell asleep in eachothers arms. He left the next morning they exchanged pleasantaries and phone numbers. In the forthcoming days they exchanged messages until one day it all stopped, in panic and a frantic state he had thought she had passed away. A drive to her house revealed she was fine just not interested after their night of loving he was a little disparent because he was hoping for a bit of drama and maybe a bit of loving for his concern alas they never saw eachother again. Im not sure if that has helped but i thought the story was worth telling anyway.


Hope to hear from you all soon.


Regards

PAT

Dear Pat - A New Beginning

Hi Pat

I have been collating the thoughts and concerns of your people, the special people that make up the South Wales Valleys and need your unerring guidance and manly love.

Dear Pat
I was interested to see that Richard Branson is offering trips into space with his new venture Virgin Galactic. Passengers will be taken to the edge of space for twenty minutes before being returned to Earth. This is from the man who can't get a train into Manchester Victoria. The Big Twat. Any thoughts Pat?

Jeff Dogsegg
Member Secretary - Ashvale Freedom Fighters


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Dear Pat

Please help me, in 1984 a zoo keeper at Pensycynor Bird Gardens told me "Ill tell you when you older" when I asked him why one of the monkeys stuck its tongue up another ones arse: Im 32 now and still waiting for an explanation.

S Lee
Hanging Around Beaufort

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Dear Pat
Last month I was genuinely upset to read that Jim Davidson had gone bankrupt, because when I saw his picture on the BBC Web site I thought he was dead. Has any thing similar happened to you Pat?

Tarquin Boils
Winterson Close (Near Rags)
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The bonk is being picked on, it has to stop. It is affecting its public appearances.

The Sugrue Ultimatum

I was rightly criticised this evening by a certain Mr Sam Sugrue on my seemless neglect of this Blog. I wholeheartedly apologise, I have no excuse except that I have been a busy boy of late with work and my own blog - Bonkleg.co.uk

I realise now that my pleads for material from members of BRFC have fallen on deaf ears. I will strive to do three posts a week, of poor quality inane, childish, toilet "Beaufort RFC" humor that made this Blog succesful in its inception (there will be an interview this weekend so look out!)

My off the cuff visit to BRFC tonight (I missed training tonight becuase of work) warmed the cockles of my heart.To be in the company of some of the countries finest young minds, Nicky Burrows, Clive Williams, Mr Sugrue (seen hear with former chairman Mr Gullick) and a freshly plucked Jon Phillips discussing the exciting prospect of a future BRFC back line including Mike White and Alex McCarthy made me proud. The only problem was a certain bad taste from Rocky's new Chaffeur and Trefil's latest record signing (seen here in the trial) Stupid Lee (the boy cant seem to take a hint).

God Bless Beaufort RFC and everyone in it.

Abertysswg Match Report

Date :- 7th March 2009

Venue ;- Abertysswg

Fixture :- WRU League Division 6( East)

ABERTYSSWG FALCONS RFC 13 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 21 POINTS

Beaufort''s performance was not from the top drawer but they did enough in this often scrappy encounter to win and maintain their third position in WRU Division 6.

It was though a poor start from the visitors who allowed Abertysswg to scurry away to an 8 point lead in the opening shots of the match . The hosts kicked a penalty and then stunned Beaufort with a lightening break from a quick line out to score the first touchdown out wide.

Beaufort looked to be unsettled for much of the first half not helped by a litany of unforced and garish errors which robbed them of any real momentum and style But they did have a dominance in the scrum and they made this superiority tell which eventually handed them victory

After ten minutes the home side were in all sorts of trouble in a scrummage on their 22 meter line. From the reset Beaufort worked wing Kyle Purnell into space and he shrugged of the remnants of a defence to scuttle over in the corner. Before the break a well struck penalty from skipper Dylan Smith levelled the score 8 points each

Beaufort had a much better second half taking advantage of a slight wind to keep play in the Abertysswg heartland. Both sides had players sent to the sin bin but Beaufort adapted better than their hosts . A series of infringements cost the home side dearly and Smith managed to slot over one penalty to give Beaufort the lead for the first time.

This was extended further when lock Ben Harding took a highball from a drop out .His rampaging run was stopped just short of the line but he had done the damage . Abertyswwg infringed again at the breakdown and Beaufort choice for a scrummage brought them a reward of a second try. The pick up and drive from the tail by Paul Francis to score, improved by a fine conversion kick from Smith, took Beaufort to a comfortable lead of 18 points to 8. In the last quarter a further act of indiscipline by Abertysswg allowed Smith to kick his third penalty and put the result beyond doubt.

However, the home side did demonstrate before the end what an potent attacking unit they could be . In the final exchanges of the game slick handling from their threequarters created the overlap on the flank for a corner try but too late to make a difference.

Beaufort's star man on the day was flanker Daniel Purchase.

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

Caerphilly Match Report

Date :- 28th February 2009

Venue :- Caerphilly

Fixture :- Friendly

CAERPHILLY ( DEVELOPMENT) RFC 31 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 10 POINTS

Beaufort were in this match much more than the final score suggests. They were defeated by a lively Caerphilly Development team four tries to two but gifted two of the tries through some sloppy defence work. Caerphilly punished them accordingly with lightening breaks to take the lead. By halftime the hosts were 17 points to 5 in front from two converted tries and a penalty. Beaufort's response was the first of two tries from wing man Kyle Purnell which was just reward after some stirling efforts from his centres Mike Vaughan and Geraint Phillips.

Beaufort had been working on their weaknesses at the breakdown and there was plainly an improvement on lasts week's showing . Loose head prop Matthew Harding had another fine match while at the lineout Stuart Francis had an exceptionally fine game to earn him the Beaufort star player tag on the day. Fullback Matthew Jordan also caught the eye after a long absence while hooker Gavin Williams continues to improve

Unfortunately, some of Beaufort's first up tackles were less than inspiring which against these opponents they could ill afford to do without suffering the painful consequences.

In the second half a second try from Purnell reduced the deficit but Caerphilly finished strong and scored two more in the later changes of the encounter both converted to earn them a comfortable win

Beaufort return to league duty next week with an away match against Abertysswg.