Tripe Offa The Web

Hi Chaps

Its a quiet week in terms of Rugby what with that pile of rubbish on friday night this Saturday looks it will turn into kick tennis. So I thought I would try and cheer you chaps up with some stuff I found on the Web

Funny rugby advert 1

Awkard Family Photos There please comment on the photo most like a Beaufort RFC club person


Love you All

Awkward Family Photos

Hi Chaps

Its a quiet week in terms of Rugby what with that pile of rubbish on friday night this Saturday looks it will turn into kick tennis. So I thought I would try and cheer you chaps up with some stuff I found on the Web

Funny rugby advert 1

Awkard Family Photos There please comment on the photo most like a Beaufort RFC club person


Love you All

The Beaufort Golf Day (Llanhilleth Style)

An injury ravaged Beaufort couldn't compete against a strong wind in Brynbach Park. Although the team were poorly kitted out in jeans, shoes with some sharing clubs they cobbled together a team of champions.

Indeed it was a wonder to many, considering the number of people who were injured, mentally and sexually (one brave chap played with half a finger). A couple of neghbouring clubs said that on no account that Beaufort would have their golf day there. The team only managed to put out a side by bringing in some former players (Dai Leyshon and John Kibby and Darth Vader) who played out of their comfort zone to win the competition. Craig Bennet captained the team for the first time and he and brother Justin had a good game as did Glyn Moon and Gogger (pictured here with Johnny Rotten).

Even though they were beaten spirits, were high and everyone is sure when the massive lack coordination clears up, Beaufort will undoubtedly have player in contention for Celtic Manor's Ryder Cup.

Reduction in Industries

As you are all aware since I have retired the bonk leg, (see above) I have taken up the post of Assistant Cwtcher to Clive "That's Enough Tape" William's Chief Cwtcher role.

Clive was keen to draft in some new blood with new ideas and I believe my mix of Jedi, tough love and healing hands illustrated here has significantly reduced injuries with players miraculously jumping to their feet before I even get to them.

Click here to see scientifc proof that my love has led to a severe reduction in injuries.

Llandrindod Wells Match Report

Date :- 31st October 2009

Venue:- Beaufort

Fixture :- Swalec Bowl - Second Round

BEAUFORT RFC 47 POINTS LLANDRINDOD WELLS 20 POINTS

This second tie of the Swalec Bowl Challenge proved to be a thrilling encounter . Beaufort had something to prove after being knocked out of the Welsh District cup last year by their mid Walian counterpart from Division Six Central..The exuberance and fast flowing nature of the play from both teams superbly handled by the match official made it the best game seen at the home venue for some time.

Beaufort got into the lead from a Dylan Smith penalty but then Llandrindod struck back with an early try and had the better of the first segment of play. Beaufort then found their rhythm and unleashed a barrage of attacks then resulted in two touchdowns. Centre Mike Vaughan got the first and scrum half Matthew Burrows cut the gap for a second . Both sides exchanged penalties and Beaufort ended the first half 20 points to 8 in front

The home side needed only three minutes to extend their lead from a penalty kicked by stand off Smith who was having a fine match. However the visitors were making strident efforts to get control of the game. They were a bigger side with a powerful back row that did cause Beaufort real anxiety in the loose. From a tapped penalty they burst through the Beaufort defence to score their second try but missed a simple conversion to shorten the lead to 23 points to 13.

But Llandrindod failed to dominate the home side in the scrum where Beaufort had a telling edge that was to serve them well throughout the encounter. A wonderful accomplished passage of play followed from Beaufort that silenced their opponents efforts to retrieve the match. Prop Lee Morgan crashed over for Beaufort's next try and some quality handling led eventually to a fourth try scored by centre Geraint Phillips Their opponent's replied with a try of their own crafted again by their tireless back row but it was to be their last gasp effort.

Smith killed off the challenge with another penalty to take the score to the forty point mark and wing Matthew Dobbs followed up a chip behind the defence to score in the corner with Smith adding the extra points from a touchline conversion.

Beaufort's star man on the day was second row Mark Heasely

Paragliding

As there have been complaints about the lack of content on the Blog of late. I thought I would upload some content of my own. This is where I did a sponsored paraglide/shityourself for the Hospice of the Valleys. If you want to you can still donate at http://www.justgiving.co.uk/matthew-hopkins/

CWM Match Report

Date:- 24th October 2009

Venue:- Cwm

Fixture:- WRU Division 6 East

CWM RFC 6 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 40 POINTS

This was a game shaped by the conditions with handling errors galore as both sides struggled to cope with the blustery conditions and greasy ball. Beaufort as league leaders had come as favourites but they quickly found out Cwm were a determined outfit and put up a spirited display which could have upset the form book. It wasn't until the second half that the game eventually slipped away from them as their defence leaked 5 of the 6 tries scored.

It was though a scrappy first half. There was little continuity in Beaufort's play not helped by a worrying number of penalties they gave away. They did score the only try in the first half when scrumhalf Matthew Burrows took advantage of a good scrum to unravel the defence. Dylan Smith kicked two penalties and Cwm kicked two of their own giving Beaufort an 11 point to 6 lead to end a lack lustre first half .

After the break Beaufort finally got some electricity into their game . They created enough space for their ball carriers to make deep insertions into the Cwm heartland from where

they crafted their tries. Burrows pounced for a second try after a defencive slip up. He was involved in the next finished off by second row Ben Harding . It was Harding who crashed through the defence from a tapped penalty for a fourth which topped a superb display from him to be named Beaufort's star play on the day. Smith converted to give Beaufort a commanding lead of 28 points to 6.

To their credit Cwm kept attacking Beaufort at every opportunity refusing to submit,but for all this good endeavour they lacked the incisiveness to penetrate their visitors defence. By contrast, Beaufort did and demonstrated this with clinical precision in the last quarter . Quick hands and plenty of pace left wing Lee Roper enough room to round the last remnants of cover to finish off a attack which began from a deep position. This was followed by a trademark try from the season's leading try scorer Mike Vaughan who was the beneficiary of an explosive burst from flanker Justin Bennett . This took the score to the 40 point mark and ended the contest.

Next week Beaufort are at home to Llandrindod Wells in the second round of the Magners Bowl. Kick off at the earlier time of 2 pm.

Aberbeeg Match Report

Date:- 17th October 2009

Venue :- Brynithel

Fixture :- WRU League Division 6 East

ABERBEEG RFC 0 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 43 POINTS

Beaufort celebrated a fifth league win scoring six tries earning a bonus point to keep them top of Division 6 East

A Dylan Smith penalty got them off to an early start and in the first quarter they notched up two sparkling tries from centres Mike Vaughan and Geraint Phillips . Smith added the conversions for a 17 point lead and Beaufort looked to be winning this match at a canter

But the home side who have struggled so far this season were a better outfit than their lowly league position implied. They had a good line out, kicked well for field position and on occasions their driving maul did cause problems for the visitors. However when the ball was spread wide Beaufort had too much pace and skill . Wing Lee Roper latched on to the final pass of a fine passage of play for the first of his two tries, superbly converted again by Smith to give the visitors a 24 point lead without reply at the interval

The bonus try came five minutes into the restart scored by the irrepressible Jason Taylor who had a fine match leaving Smith a simple conversion.With the match now won Beaufort's momentum fell away . They also had a player sent off and sensing an opportunity to make superiority in numbers tell, Aberbeeg raised their game giving Beaufort ten minutes of real anxiety . Although they recycled the ball endlessly they just couldn't create enough space to cross the line finding Beaufort's tenacious defence rock solid.

Beaufort finally broke out of the stranglehold and finished the match in a flourish. After a lightening counterattack Lee Roper made a fifth touch down in the corner and second row Ben Harding thundered across the try line for Beaufort's sixth

Beaufort star man on the day was Geraint Phillips

Beaufort play away again next week at Cwm

The Chico Interview

The Chico Story

A few years ago Beaufort RFC's goodwill ambassador, Huw Lewis, was on a fact finding mission in the slums of Peru.

There he found a young rabid Chico dancing for money. After looking into his doleful eyes those big heart strings were pulled and he brought him back to the loving fold of Beaufort RFC. The combination of dressing like gigolo from Miami Vice and a steady diet of drinking alcohol through a funnel soon nursed the lovable little chap back to health.

After training hard he made his way into the Beaufort Senior team on the 27th September 2009. His running like an asthmatic greyhound was deceptive, the effort of charging down balls with his face was paid off with a fine try and rightly deserved man of the match award.

Well done Chico, we Love you man.

Blaenavon Match Report

BLAENAVON FORGESIDE RFC 7 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 37 POINTS

It was a solid performance from Beaufort in this division 6 encounter to make up for last weeks disappointing draw at home. Their discipline was better and they scored six well constructed tries to earn themselves the bonus point to keep them in touch with the league leaders.

A penalty from standoff Dylan Smith got them off to an early start. Then before the half hour mark they had scored two tries. In his match debut wing Matthew Dobbs made the decisive touchline run that led to the first. Centre Mike Vaughan finished clinically to score the try. The second , the best of the encounter ,came after a fine take in the line out by Mark Heasley. A mid field switch straight out of the text book created the gap for centre Michael White to fly up the middle of the park to gallop in near the posts

Before the interval Beaufort had struck again Quick thinking by scrum half John Davies set up Mike Vaughan for him to skip across the line for his second try . With two conversions from Smith by half time Beaufort had scored 22 unanswered points.

Smith was again on target with a penalty to open the visitors tally after the break. But once again Beaufort seemed to lose their first half momentum not helped by a number of stoppages .Forgeside then had their best period and it took an herculean effort by Matthew Burrows to bring off a cover tackle to stop a certain try . But the home side persevered and with dogged determination played the phases that led to their only try . It was though their last gasp effort . Beaufort silenced their opponents almost immediately with pace and deft passing . Matthew Dobbs deservedly got the fourth try for the bonus point and White finished off a good afternoon for him with a fifth which Smith converted

It was good match for Smith who controlled the match superbly at standoff and a satisfying one for prop Marcus Rose to get onto the field back after a long term injury. On his club debut Matthew Dobbs was Beaufort's star player

Next week Beaufort play hosts to Abertysswg

A Messy Night Up Beaufort (As if that out of the ordinary!)

Hi Team

Please forgive my abandonment of the Blog of late. I found the non playing very difficult and adjusting to being a "bag man" hard.

The ole bonkleg is back. Anyway it was a messy night by any standard:

Sam made his Beaufort Debut. The Baldy Peachaven winger gave his heart but due to MiracleGro shower gel blonde flowing locks came forth and left the boy in a severe state of intoxication.






After an afternoon of disappointment the Sacred Haven of the Country's Finest Young Minds that is Beaufort RFC fell foul to an invasion of magical and mythological characters. They were summoned up by black magic otherwise known as ZIP BOING








This caused Supergirl (who must of been undergoing treatment) and a Smurf (who was on the tubby side) to vomit.




Anyways I like Cheese so who cares.

Aberbargoed Match Report

Date:- 19th September 2009

Venue:- Beaufort

Fixture :- WRU Division 6 East

BEAUFORT RFC 26 POINTS ABERBARGOED 26 POINTS

Beaufort thought they had this match sown up by half time scoring 4 tries but a desperately disappointing performance in the second half allowed Aberbargoed to claw their way back to draw this Division Six encounter

Despite having the lion share of the possession silly acts of indiscipline were the host's downfall and in the end they had to be content with two league points and not five.

The visitors took every opportunity to kick their penalties converting four in all, two in the first ten minutes of the start of the match, to take the lead . Beaufort then unleashed a volley of attacks and tries came thick and fast. Flanker Daniel Purchase got the first and excellent finishing brought a further three tries scored by second row Ben Harding and flankers Andrew Morgan and Paul Francis . Dylan Smith converted three for a comfortable lead of 26 points to 9

But after the interval nothing resembling this momentum surfaced again. Although they were in complete control of the set pieces they failed to nail a hat full of opportunities that came their way due to some very sloppy and indifferent play . Aberbargoed, with only scraps of possession to play with, made the most of the few chances that came their way

and shored up their defence

In an horrendous last ten minutes spell the home side completely lost concentration, mistakenly thinking the match was won. To their credit Aberbargoed kept their composure throughout and caught Beaufort out with two lethal counterattacks from deep positions to make two late touchdowns . The simple conversions brought them within three points of the lead. When cool heads were needed to see the game out Beaufort tried to end the match with a flourish but again fell foul of the referee who awarded Aberbargoed a penalty. The visitors gratefully accepted it and kicked superbly to draw the scores level to end the contest,

Beaufort cannot be pleased with this result nor the penalty count which weighed heavily against them . In a team of mostly young players it was stalwart Paul Francis who caught the eye and was the team's star player on the day.

Next week Beaufort head to Blaenavon Forgeside

Beaufort V Trefil Match Report

TREFIL RFC 10 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 19 POINTS

Beaufort couldn't quite match last week's scintillating performance but they did enough to dispatch Trefil for a second league win scoring three tries .

Trefil gave Beaufort a torrid time in the opening quarter . They took full advantage of the visitors indiscipline with a series of penalties that kept them on the offensive . They kicked one penalty and placed another within a metre of the Beaufort line from where they drove from the lineout to crash over for a try.

Matters got worse for visitors when they had a player sent to the sin bin

But Trefil failed to make this tell . The ten point lead did not sit easy with them and in the second quarter they noticeably wilted in the heat . The momentum of the match then swung in favour of a fitter Beaufort. The visitors had a try disallowed but then failed woefully to nail other chances due to some sloppy handling to end the first half without a score.

Beaufort finally found their touch in the second half . Within five minutes, following a good scrumage, centre Mike Vaughan weaved his way through the defence to touch down at the posts leaving Dylan Smith the easiest of conversions . The next try was conjured up from half way and was the best of the encounter. Slick handling at pace provided space on the flank and fullback Matthew Burrows latched on to the final pass to round the opposition for a touchdown The conversion failed but Beaufort had grabbed the lead 12 points to 10.

Trefil did try to rally but they lacked enough incisiveness to endanger a splendid Beaufort defence. They also suffered a crisis in the scrum where Beaufort had the bigger bite on the day and occasionally struggled to cope with the pace of the game

With five minutes left on the game clock Michael White put the result beyond doubt. The Beaufort fly half pounced onto a loose ball near a ruck and began a thirty meter dash for the try line leaving a hapless Trefil defence trailing in his wake.

It was another a good team performance by Beaufort particularly in the second half. Newly partnered half backs Smith and White had a good afternoon . Glyn Moon who came on as a substitute was another dominant force but the accolade of Beaufort's star player was deservedly awarded to number eight Andrew Morgan for his overall work rate in attack and defence

Beaufort league encounter next week is home to Aberbargoed.

Family Fun Day 18th July 2009 - Beaufort RFC Barbecue - Ebbw Vale

Family Fun Day 18th July 2009 - Beaufort RFC Barbecue - Ebbw Vale

This Saturday, 14:00 18th July 2009, Beaufort RFC host the annual barbecue at the Sportsground, Carmeltown, Ebbw Vale, Gwent NP23 5YA.


This family orientated fun day includes:


Barbecue (Obviously)
Six a Side Cricket
Kids activity games
Face Painting
Open Bar
Plus loads more

So come along, bring the family and enjoy yourself!!!!!!

Here is what people said about previous Beaufort Barbecues:

"Me, Dave and the kids loved it though we thought Carmeltown was some sort of chocolate theme park like Mars Bar Town of Wispa World" - Victoria Beckham, Mansion, LA, USA.


"If I wasn't touring with Take That I would definitely be there, two years ago I could only get a job as the groundsman at Beaufort - Jason Orange, Take That.

Contact: matthewhopkins76@googlemail.com

Crickhowell Match Report

Date :- 25th April 2009
Venue :- Crickhowell
Fixture:- WRU League Division Six East


CRICKHOWELL RFC 6 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 25 POINTS

Beaufort finished their league programme on a high note with a comfortable win against the Powys side who defeated them at home early in the season. They finish third in the league table and improved their mid table standing from last season

Crickhowell had a good start keeping Beaufort in check for the first quarter of the match but then Beaufort found the measure of their opponents to break out and put pressure on the home side . Dylan Smith who had an excellent match kicked four first half penalties to put Beaufort in control although the visitors were guilty in not making the most of nailing several try scoring opportunities.

Crickhowell did kick a penalty of their own to end the first half 12 points to 3. They started the second half as they did the first and earned themselves a second penalty but were up against a strong Beaufort scrum that was denying them any quality possession. This was a key feature in this match as they were driven backwards alarmingly and why Beaufort's front row of Harding , Moon and Roberts as a unit justly earned themselves the star player accolade

Smith kicked another penalty before the Beaufort three quarters cut loose benefiting from a solid attacking platform and some thunderous runs from flanker Jason Taylor who also had a fine match Centre Geraint Phillips drove his way over for the first try and wing Lee Roper raced in for a second after a superb break by the Beaufort stand off to end the encounter.

ST Julians Match Report

Date;- 18th April 2009
Venue;- Newport
Fixture;- WRU Division 6 East


ST JULIANS HSOB ( NEWPORT) RFC 18 POINTS BEAUFORT 33 POINTS

Beaufort took maximum points in their penultimate league fixture of the season but their route to victory was not an easy one and the outcome was far from certain until the last quarter . Beaufort encountered problems with home side's jumbo pack and for long periods were starved of any quality possession but they sensed the lack of ambition in their opponents attack and eventually fed on it to bring them five tries.

St Julians relied heavily on their stand off and he had a good afternoon with the boot kicking in all six penalties from eight attempts. He kicked two penalties to give St Julians the lead but the real electricity in this often scrappy encounter came from the Beaufort three quarters . When they were unleashed they looked unstoppable and after twenty minutes they crafted out the first try Geraint Phillips cut the gap in text book fashion to score under the posts and Dylan's Smith conversion edged the team in front .

But two further successful penalties by St Julians before the interval restored the lead to 12 points to 7

A down wind recovery after the break by Beaufort grabbed the lead back with two sparkling tries from centre Mike Vaughan . But again St Julians banged over two further penalties to cut the deficit to 19 points to 18. This was to be their last gasp challenge . For the last quarter Beaufort cut loose with some blistering attacks from their back line and in particular fullback Matthew Burrows who was Beaufort's star player on the day

A superb solo effort from Phillips brought him his second try and he was the beneficiary of another pacey attack for his third and Beaufort 's fifth touchdown of the afternoon to give Beaufort a winning bonus point

Next week Beaufort will play their final match of their league campaign which is a rearranged fixture away against Crickhowell.

BARRIE CASWELL
PRESS OFFICER

Ramblings of the Bonk

Hi

I am here rambling, on my third glass of welsh champagne, trawling through the Web to make sure that Sam Sugrue has his sunday post dinner entertainment. Firstly I found a video from last years Beaufort Barbeque anywayI digress.

Todays game was a win with a bonus point, I felt personally I played like a donkey with one rollerskate on his back hoof though Alex McCarthy was absolutlely delightful, as was Bash, and Danny Carey.

Though after the match the Beaufort "drinking" did have a whiff of minge about it



Geoff Harding and Sam Sugrue (seen here in the annual dinner 1987) would have something to say about it.


Love you all

Blackwood Stars Match Report

Date:- 11th April 2009

Venue:- Beaufort

Fixture:- WRU Division 6 East

BEAUFORT RFC 10 POINTS BLACKWOOD STARS 24 POINTS

It was a gallant effort from Beaufort in this last home fixture of the season but they were unable to recover the points deficit after an explosive opening first quarter from the top of the league contenders. In the opening exchanges Beaufort were simply unable to achieve any kind of momentum falling foul of the referee's whistle in which they conceded 8 penalties in 15minutes and 13 in highly charged up first half .

With clinical precious Blackwood punished Beaufort kicking for good field position . Then from a whole volley of attacks at close range they clobbered the home side with two tries and a 14 point lead.

Beaufort did regain some composure after Dylan Smith kicked a penalty but before the first half ended Blackwood crossed the line again for a highly contentious third try when Beaufort claimed the player was in touch . But the lineman's flag stayed down and what was a pivotal score, stood.

Beaufort found a new resolve in the second half and they had much the better of the exchanges. They were able to establish a bridgehead to launch a wave of attacks from their where their try was crafted .

From good possession Matthew Burrows's turned the defence inside out with his side steps to scuttle over between the uprights to reduce the lead 19 points to 10 . It was the fillip that Beaufort needed . Having their best period of the encounter they destroyed the Blackwood scrum . Sadly this new found vibrancy was not converted into any more points because at crucial moments they failed to retain the ball to nail their scoring opportunities.

To their credit Blackwood withstood the onslaught until their threequaters who had been starved of any quality posses ion were able to break away from the shackles of their own heartlands to score a fourth try to end what had been an enthralling contest.

The Beaufort pack had an outstanding second half several of whom could justly be counted as Beaufort star player on the day . Their front three of Harding, Moon and Roberts excelled. Mark Heasely had fine performance in the second row while Dylan Smith gave an gritty display at scrumhalf. But edging the glory on the day was full back Darrell Roper for his all round performance

Next week Beaufort head for St Julians Newport

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER.

The Alex Mcarthy Interview

Here is the Alex McArthy Interview. I must express my bitter disappointment that two members of Beaufort Royalty, Danny Carey and Glyn Moon declined an interview.

Photos From the New Panteg Game

Hi Guys here are some pics from the New Panteg Game. Moony is looking good!

Enjoy

Marham Match Report

Date:- 4th April 2009

Venue:- Markham

Fixture:- WRU Division 6 (East)

MARKHAM RFC 10 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 16 POINTS

Beaufort grabbed the league points on offer to complete a rare double over their arch rivals but it was a scrappy encounter riddled with mistakes from both sides and lamentally lacking in any snap or excitement.

Beaufort were dominant in the scrums , struggled a little at the line out but suffered a real crisis at the break down where promising attacking opportunities went woefully astray because of lost possession. Despite winning the match territorially Beaufort's failure to address the problem at the ruck area kept the home side in this match putting the result in doubt until the very end

Both sides exchanged early penalties but it was not until the last ten minutes of a frustratingly sub standard first half that the match sparked into any kind of life.

Beaufort did have a good kicking game and at stand off Matthew Jordan had a superb match justifiably earning himself Beaufort's star player on the day. His neat chip behind the defence was perfectly judged for centre Darrel Roper to run onto. Roper's ability to fend off the big hits and make the hard yards has been a hall mark of his success this season and from thirty metres he made for the line before flanker Dan Purchase fastened on to a perfect off load to score Beaufort's only try . Dylan Smith kicked a tricky conversion in the a swirling wind for a lead of 10 points to 3

An horrendous turnover in Beaufort's next phase of play allowed Markham to counterattack from a deep position and Beaufort's own cover defence was found wanting. A try out wide converted from a narrow angle levelled the scores at half time.

Beaufort performance was marginally better in the second half keeping Markham locked up in their own twenty two for long periods . But despite all the pressure Beaufort failed to cross the line and had to be content with another Smith penalty.

But the lead did not sit easy with the visitors and a break out from the stranglehold gave Markham another chance which should have brought them a vital score . With Beaufort desperately defending and then infringing they elected to take a penalty and fluffed the attempt. Beaufort were off the hook and the next scoring opportunity fell to them

in the form of a penalty . Smith calmly slotted it between the uprights from thirty metres to provide a six point cushion for Beaufort which proved to be good enough to ride out the rest of a disappointing match

Next week Beaufort play host to Blackwood Stars who occupy second place in the league.

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

Dear Pat

Hi Pat

How are you? Love your smell, your musk is like an angel tears, anyway I digress, here is my latest round up.


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Hi Pat

My Brother once told if you did a cartwheel and farted at the same time you would shit yourself. I just wonder as a fan of lycra, if you or any other gymnast has ever done this or could confirm or deny it.

Tom Crack
Blaenau Gwent
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Hi Pat

Why don't the NHS start hiring obsessive compulsives as nurses? Their attention to hygiene and constant hand washing would see an end to MRSA outbreaks in no time.

P Toilet-Duck
The Winches

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Hi Pat

You know what I love about clover, its the way its churned.

Love you
Mam
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Hi Pat

Radio 2's Steve Wright only reads out letters from people who say how much they love him and the show. I know this because my mates write to him and regularly tell him hes a twat and he never reads our letter out

Bash
House

Date :- 28th March 2009

Venue:- Beaufort

Fixture:- WRU Division 6 ( East )

BEAUFORT RFC 55 POINTS WHITEHEADS( NEWPORT) RFC 12 POINTS

Beaufort overwhelmed their Newport opponents in a nine try blitz to give them maximum points restoring them to third spot in division 6 in the league When the mood touches them Beaufort can be uncompromising in attack and in this encounter they were clinical in taking their chances.

Whiteheads were a better outfit than the scoreline suggests which belies their lowly position in the league . With a big pack their pick up and drive game did give the home side some problems They had superiority in numbers when Beaufort had a player sent to the sin bin and took advantage to drive for the line for their two first half ties

But an in form Beaufort had a much bigger bite on the day and five minutes shy of half time had the match won with the bonus points in the bag . Two tries apiece from three quarters Dylan Smith and Mike Vaughan and one from prop Justin Roberts with added conversions gave them a 31 point to 12 lead.

There was no respite for the visitors after the break .Wih a slight wind advantage Beaufort put plenty of width on their game. Wing Kyle Purnell who had a fine match was rewarded for his handling skills under the high ball with the next try . Strident efforts from Matthew Hopkins in the heart of the pack earned him and the side a further two, together with the accolade of being Beaufort's star player on the day. His second try took the scoreline beyond the 50 point barrier. Beaufort's captain Smith got the last just short of the final whistle to finish the match off at a canter.

Next week Beaufort head to Markham and a much tougher prospect to encounter.

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

New Panteg Match Report

Date:- 21st March 2008

Venue:- Beaufort

Fixture:- WRU league Division 6 ( East)

BEAUFORT RFC 36 POINTS NEW PANTEG RFC 10

It was six of the best from Beaufort to earn them a landslide success and maximum points against their league opponents. It was a thumping victory and at times played with with real electricity

The home side started well testing the New Panteg defence to its limits as they went through the phases. New Panteg held out for the first quarter but then cracks started to appear as Ben Harding Beaufort dynamic No 8 crashed over for the first of his three tries. Wing Kyle Purnell got the next latching on to a final pass to finish off a a blistering attack engineered by his forwards.

Beaufort then went into sleep mode and allowed the visitors to bring some pattern to their game in which their useful set of three quarters threatened to redress the situation

The first half ended with Beaufort's ten point lead still intact but just after the break a kick towards the New Panteg line was collected by their full back whose lightening break in a counterattack found yawning gaps in the Beaufort defence. The result was a try under the posts which was converted.

It proved to be a wake up call for the host side . They then let loose with a decisive barrage of unstoppable attacks that split open their opponents defence Matthew Burrows from fullback crafted the third try and Purnell finished it for his second . Ben Harding got the fourth, his second after a series of forward rumbles for the bonus points . New Panteg could only reply with a penalty and by the last quarter were reduced to shoring up an overworked defence.

Craig Bennett made a typical explosive charge from which try flanker Jason Taylor was the beneficiary touching down for the fifth try to put the result beyond doubt Then Ben Harding got the last, just reward for a splendid all round performance to claim his first hat trick for the club in a six try haul with Dylan Smith kicking three conversions.

This was a particularly good performance by the Beaufort pack where tight head prop Justin Roberts and his No 8 Ben Harding caught the eye to share the honours of star players on the day.

Next week Beaufort host Whiteheads (Newport) RFC in another league encounter

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

I would like to say a thank you to the people concerned who petitioned to bring back pat, i will endeavour as always to help you all with your problems and questions.



To Mr Dogsegg,

I understand your concerns with the issues arising from the tardiness of Mr Bransons train service but i think the problems lie deeper than that. The problem with space travel is that humans are traditionally built for visiting celestial heights, dogs yes, monkeys yes and even fish but for us its a no go. I can imagine the headlines Bransons Galactic Service Late and due to our physiological limitations we could possibly die because that lazy spacecraft driver is too busy finishing his breakfast over the bus i digress, its a bad idea from start to finish lets keep ourselves firmly planted to terrafirma.





To Stupid,

The conortations of these displays relate to the sexual alignment of the animals. Ritual arse licking is versed in our culture as much as in any and is a centuries old act. During the 2nd century the Incas, a civilised tribe of its time introduced this act as a pleasureable experience for the nobility. After a member of the ruling tribe deficaeted a commoner/peasant would be called upon to clean the aforementioned nobility's anus using only the tip of the tongue until the backend was polished and shiny. Arse licking is not as graphic now but is a term used for a person who wants to seek approval from someone who is deemed to be of a higher demographic status than themselves. Hope that helps you with your life.









Well Tarquin nothing like that has occured to me but i remember of a story of similar circumstances. A young beautiful lady caught he eye of a gent on a saturday night in The Griffen in Brynmawr. It was dark a the dancefloor full these star crossed lovers seemed destined to be, as they disco danced together he moved in for the killer kiss, smitten and full of sexual tension she jumped upon him with lustful exhuberance and they later left together for an evening of passionate lovemaking. As they writhed in a passionate embrace the man proceeded to perform a position called the reverse clancy which itself is a deep black art of sexual perversion, they fell asleep in eachothers arms. He left the next morning they exchanged pleasantaries and phone numbers. In the forthcoming days they exchanged messages until one day it all stopped, in panic and a frantic state he had thought she had passed away. A drive to her house revealed she was fine just not interested after their night of loving he was a little disparent because he was hoping for a bit of drama and maybe a bit of loving for his concern alas they never saw eachother again. Im not sure if that has helped but i thought the story was worth telling anyway.


Hope to hear from you all soon.


Regards

PAT

Dear Pat - A New Beginning

Hi Pat

I have been collating the thoughts and concerns of your people, the special people that make up the South Wales Valleys and need your unerring guidance and manly love.

Dear Pat
I was interested to see that Richard Branson is offering trips into space with his new venture Virgin Galactic. Passengers will be taken to the edge of space for twenty minutes before being returned to Earth. This is from the man who can't get a train into Manchester Victoria. The Big Twat. Any thoughts Pat?

Jeff Dogsegg
Member Secretary - Ashvale Freedom Fighters


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Dear Pat

Please help me, in 1984 a zoo keeper at Pensycynor Bird Gardens told me "Ill tell you when you older" when I asked him why one of the monkeys stuck its tongue up another ones arse: Im 32 now and still waiting for an explanation.

S Lee
Hanging Around Beaufort

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Dear Pat
Last month I was genuinely upset to read that Jim Davidson had gone bankrupt, because when I saw his picture on the BBC Web site I thought he was dead. Has any thing similar happened to you Pat?

Tarquin Boils
Winterson Close (Near Rags)
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The bonk is being picked on, it has to stop. It is affecting its public appearances.

The Sugrue Ultimatum

I was rightly criticised this evening by a certain Mr Sam Sugrue on my seemless neglect of this Blog. I wholeheartedly apologise, I have no excuse except that I have been a busy boy of late with work and my own blog - Bonkleg.co.uk

I realise now that my pleads for material from members of BRFC have fallen on deaf ears. I will strive to do three posts a week, of poor quality inane, childish, toilet "Beaufort RFC" humor that made this Blog succesful in its inception (there will be an interview this weekend so look out!)

My off the cuff visit to BRFC tonight (I missed training tonight becuase of work) warmed the cockles of my heart.To be in the company of some of the countries finest young minds, Nicky Burrows, Clive Williams, Mr Sugrue (seen hear with former chairman Mr Gullick) and a freshly plucked Jon Phillips discussing the exciting prospect of a future BRFC back line including Mike White and Alex McCarthy made me proud. The only problem was a certain bad taste from Rocky's new Chaffeur and Trefil's latest record signing (seen here in the trial) Stupid Lee (the boy cant seem to take a hint).

God Bless Beaufort RFC and everyone in it.

Abertysswg Match Report

Date :- 7th March 2009

Venue ;- Abertysswg

Fixture :- WRU League Division 6( East)

ABERTYSSWG FALCONS RFC 13 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 21 POINTS

Beaufort''s performance was not from the top drawer but they did enough in this often scrappy encounter to win and maintain their third position in WRU Division 6.

It was though a poor start from the visitors who allowed Abertysswg to scurry away to an 8 point lead in the opening shots of the match . The hosts kicked a penalty and then stunned Beaufort with a lightening break from a quick line out to score the first touchdown out wide.

Beaufort looked to be unsettled for much of the first half not helped by a litany of unforced and garish errors which robbed them of any real momentum and style But they did have a dominance in the scrum and they made this superiority tell which eventually handed them victory

After ten minutes the home side were in all sorts of trouble in a scrummage on their 22 meter line. From the reset Beaufort worked wing Kyle Purnell into space and he shrugged of the remnants of a defence to scuttle over in the corner. Before the break a well struck penalty from skipper Dylan Smith levelled the score 8 points each

Beaufort had a much better second half taking advantage of a slight wind to keep play in the Abertysswg heartland. Both sides had players sent to the sin bin but Beaufort adapted better than their hosts . A series of infringements cost the home side dearly and Smith managed to slot over one penalty to give Beaufort the lead for the first time.

This was extended further when lock Ben Harding took a highball from a drop out .His rampaging run was stopped just short of the line but he had done the damage . Abertyswwg infringed again at the breakdown and Beaufort choice for a scrummage brought them a reward of a second try. The pick up and drive from the tail by Paul Francis to score, improved by a fine conversion kick from Smith, took Beaufort to a comfortable lead of 18 points to 8. In the last quarter a further act of indiscipline by Abertysswg allowed Smith to kick his third penalty and put the result beyond doubt.

However, the home side did demonstrate before the end what an potent attacking unit they could be . In the final exchanges of the game slick handling from their threequarters created the overlap on the flank for a corner try but too late to make a difference.

Beaufort's star man on the day was flanker Daniel Purchase.

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

Caerphilly Match Report

Date :- 28th February 2009

Venue :- Caerphilly

Fixture :- Friendly

CAERPHILLY ( DEVELOPMENT) RFC 31 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 10 POINTS

Beaufort were in this match much more than the final score suggests. They were defeated by a lively Caerphilly Development team four tries to two but gifted two of the tries through some sloppy defence work. Caerphilly punished them accordingly with lightening breaks to take the lead. By halftime the hosts were 17 points to 5 in front from two converted tries and a penalty. Beaufort's response was the first of two tries from wing man Kyle Purnell which was just reward after some stirling efforts from his centres Mike Vaughan and Geraint Phillips.

Beaufort had been working on their weaknesses at the breakdown and there was plainly an improvement on lasts week's showing . Loose head prop Matthew Harding had another fine match while at the lineout Stuart Francis had an exceptionally fine game to earn him the Beaufort star player tag on the day. Fullback Matthew Jordan also caught the eye after a long absence while hooker Gavin Williams continues to improve

Unfortunately, some of Beaufort's first up tackles were less than inspiring which against these opponents they could ill afford to do without suffering the painful consequences.

In the second half a second try from Purnell reduced the deficit but Caerphilly finished strong and scored two more in the later changes of the encounter both converted to earn them a comfortable win

Beaufort return to league duty next week with an away match against Abertysswg.

One of the Funniest Things I Have Ever Heard Bah None

Just click on the link in my blog http://bit.ly/uinId. it is one of the funniest things I have ever heard.

The Ginger Ninja's Long Present and Ball Squeeze

Hands up who enjoyed the Session, everybody did including Buzz.

It was a great session from the ruck perspective. Instead of rucking with this mentality, (hands up im one of the worst) we can develop a more clinical approach. We got the guts we just need to work on technique.

This video is awesome on rucking.


Anyway thanks alot Nick, great session. You are now my second favourite Ginger Person edging in front of Rod Hull but still behind Groundskeeper Willy


(I got a blog of my own now have look mun, though dont swear on it my little girl looks at it )

Merthyr Match Report

Date:- 21st February 2009

Venue: Merthyr

Fixture:- Friendly

MERTHYR RFC 20 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 6

Without a game for a fortnight both Clubs in this friendly encounter had the opportunity to give their large squads a much needed run out At the end Merthyr had a comfortable and deserved win . They proved to be the sharper at the breakdown and wiser tactically to earn them victory from four tries taking advantage of a litany of errors from the visitors .

Beaufort had hardly settled when Merthyr opened up with a blistering attack that ended in a corner try . They added a second to this at the end of the first quarter when they out muscled Beaufort in the loose to drive for the line

Beaufort did improve and Dylan Smith kicked a penalty to keep some sort of finger tip control on proceedings. But all too often they were undone by poor handling skills and also, in key situations, conceded hard fought possession to the hosts who punished them accordingly.

Beaufort did have the edge in the scrums and their front row trio of Roberts , West and Harding gave their counterparts an uncomfortable afternoon but their three quarters were unable to capitalise from this superiority meeting stiff resistance from a determined defence . Centre Geraint Phillips gave a decent account of himself and made several penetrative bursts as did his wing man Kyle Purnell but unfortunately there was no continuity afterwards from their efforts

With a strong wind at their backs after the break Beaufort might have expected to have done better but the home side were next to score which was the best try of the match . Slick handling skills in an impressive attack from 40 metres resulted in a third try wide out to extend their lead to 15 points to 3. Beaufort responded with another Smith penalty

Both sides then made a raft of substitutions but the jumble of changes did little to enhance Beaufort's scoreline and before the contest ended they conceded a fourth try

Beaufort will need to be stronger at the breakdown and be more creative behind the scrum before they return to league duty. However at present they are a very young side still on a learning curve and the Club coaches will be well pleased with the positives taken from this entertaining match

Beaufort's star man on the day was Geraint Phillips

Beaufort are hoping for another friendly fixture next week

BARRIE CASWELL

PRESS OFFICER

Scotland Tour 2009

Caerleon Match Report

BEAUFORT RFC 12 POINTS CAERLEON RFC 15 POINTS Beaufort desperately needed a league win to keep them near the top of division 6. Sadly it was not to be though they should ponder on how they could lose a game in which they dominated territorially and had so much possession to conjure up a win. For long periods Caerleon were pinned inside their own heartlands as Beaufort tried to steamroll them into submission But Caerleon's much heavier pack proved a difficult nut to crack and throughout the match maintained a titanium like defence that showed no signs of wear despite the relentless tackling Dylan Smith did kick two penalties in the first quarter before disaster fell on the home side A high clearance kick found space behind the Beaufort attack which bounced back onto itself into the waiting arms of the Caerleon wing. who had the pace to run the 60 metres to cross over under the posts . Beaufort got the lead back to 9 points to 7 with another Smith penalty only to see it cancelled out when Caerleon got one of their own . Just before the interval another rare visit to Beaufort territory brought its reward for the visitors as the host side allowed a speculative kick to go unchecked . The upshot was a corner try to give Caerleon an improbably lead of 15 points to 9 The visitors might have taken advantage of the wind after the break but they seemed content to sit on this lead and soak up the home side attacks while their opponents were undone by a lack of invention to tactically change the direction of their game Flanker Jason Taylor and his number 8 Andrew Morgan both made some explosive breaks to keep the Caerleon overworked defence fully occupied but the all important drive on the line could not be engineered . Fresh hope came in the form of a fourth Smith penalty to bring Beaufort within reach of the lead . In the final 10 minutes there were furious exchanges as both sides battled it out on the Caerleon try line Beaufort star player on the day Ben Harding had a fine match and he came tantalisingly close to getting the vital score . However , to Caerleon's credit they kept their composure and refused to buckle under the onslaught to ride the match out . Clearly disappointed at the final whistle Beaufort had to make do with the losing bonus point.

The Careleon game

What happened chaps? That was a target home win. We knew it would be a difficult game cos Caerleon are always a hard nut to crack.

I thought the 2 training sessions we had in the week were probably the best this year. We had numbers, enthusiasm and a willingness to train hard!!

Lets not press the self destruct button just yet. We are still in a good league position but my fear is that the season will fizzle out. I and the rest of the coaching staff will do out utmost to ensure this wont happen, but ultimately its down to you players.

I wont be there on Monday but will on Thursday. Chin up chaps.

CU soon
Glyn, Forwards coach not TM!!!!

Im Back

Do not fear, I have a new laptop, a new phone, new philosopy, new phrase book, new spanner, sorry where was I? any way the Blog is back, the team spirit is back, training has been amazing sol lets smash Caerleon at home.


Cmon

Abercynon Match Report

Date:- 24th January 2009Venue:- AbercynonFixture:- Friendly ABERCYNON (SECONDS) RFC 12 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 16 POINTS It was a lively friendly encounter that got Beaufort back on the winning track but the match proved to be bereft of any creative rugby. Beaufort had a marked superiority in the scrummage against a heavier home pack and more than held their own in the line outs . However, the visitors lacked the snap to make this advantage tell falling foul of the referee with a raft of infringements and acts of indiscipline. The Abercynon standoff siege gun infield kicks kept Beaufort pinned back for long periods and he eventually kicked four long range penalties which kept the final result in doubt to the very end Two penalties in the first quarter had Beaufort chasing the score . There were some electric bursts from the base of the scrum by Matthew Burrows which should have ended in a better result . Beaufort had to wait until Geraint Phillips back for his first game after his jaunt to Australia got the first points. He robbed his opposite number of the ball and had the wit and pace to run the last thirty metres to the try line . Dylan Smith's conversion nudged Beaufort in front 7 points to 6 Before half time another long rang penalty restored Abercynon lead to the interval. But after the break Beaufort got it back again with penalty of their own . That didn't last very long because the prodigious kicking of the home standoff cancelled this out and Beaufort were again chasing the ;lead . But the last quarter Beaufort wore down the opponents and costly acts of indiscipline allowed Beaufort's captain Dylan Smith to slot over two further penalties before the end Beaufort can be well pleased with the performance of their youngsters. Daniel Purchase at flanker had a very impressive match as did loose head prop Matthew Harding . Substitute back rower Paul Francis made a difference when he came on in a better second half for the visitors but Beaufort star man on the day was Geraint Phillips for a superb all round performance in attack and defence Next week Beaufort go back to league duty with a home match against Caerleon RFC who are just below them in Division 6 BARRIE CASWELLPRESS OFFICER

Game this Saturday 24th Jan 2009

Gentlemen we play Abercynon 2nds away this Saturday. Meet at the club for 12.30pm. Any problems let me (Glyn), Huw or Damon a ring.

Kind regards
Glyn

Hartirdge Match Report

HARTRIDGE (NEWPORT) RFC 30 POINTS BEAUFORT RFC 11 POINTS

Beaufort did give a decent account of themselves in terms of effort and commitment but it wasn't enough to defeat Hartridge who have justly earned themselves a reputation of being the sharpest and best organised outfit in Division 6 (East) . The visitors conceded 4 tries to 1 and in the end struggled to cope with the pace and precision of the Newport side.

However, for the first half hour the sides looked evenly matched without a decisive score although Beaufort had a couple of penalties that narrowly missed the uprights . But the warning signs were there when they struggled to get good quick possession from the set pieces Within 5 minutes of the closing moments of the first half a series of blistering attacks on the flank from the home side exposed weaknesses in what had been a solid Beaufort defence . This resulted in a try wide out . Then from the restart Hartridge launched an attack from a deep field position and caught Beaufort napping to make another touchdown before they could regain their composure . Beaufort struck back from two Dylan Smith penalties to end the first half 10 points to 6 in arrears

Shortly after the break the host side converted two penalties as Beaufort infringed at the breakdown But as the third quarter ended Beaufort took the ball through several phases and rumbled towards the Hartridge line .Scrum half Damon Morris finished it off and drove over for the touchdown to cut the deficit 16 points to 11

But there was no alarm in the home camp. With real electricity in a barrage of attacks they immediately flew at the Beaufort defence which eventually succumbed to leak two further tries and put the game to bed both to end an enthralling encounter

Beaufort can take some comfort from the performance. Lock Mark Heasely had a good game in the loose while Ben Harding made a welcome return to the fold to strengthen the pack. Drafted in for emergency duty at full back Scott Griffiths had a fine match which earned him the accolade of Beaufort's star player on the day

Next week Beaufort are seeking a friendly match away .

Rocky Interview

Sorry Chaps about the lack of interview this week but my phone is knackered, I did manage to get an interview with Jason "Rocky" Taylor after the game.

The transcript is a follows

Hoppy: Jason what do you think of todays game?

Jason: huh

Hoppy: Top of the league clash, four weeks after our last game, I felt very rusty myself but I thought the boys stuck at it well

Rocky: hmm, yeah

Hoppy: The score didnt reflect the game, nice to see the Harding brothers playing together, the discipline was good dont you think.

Rocky: (saying nothing but shows me coke club ball)

Hoppy: Thanks Jason it was a pleasure

Only 9 in Training!

C'mon boys we need more than 9 in training, we got Hartridge on Saturday

Apologies

Sorry chaps for not updating the blog lately I have been withou t'internet connection for about 6 6weeks. ( im writing this on my lunch break in work)

Any way keep posted the interviews will start again, so will gomez's corner.

I am look for suggestions for new intersting content things such as Dai Leyshon's colour of the week or Club lookalikes e.g Damon Morris aka Jools holland.

Any way its all good stuff, rest assured all will be sorted ready for the second half of the season.

I cant wait for Crick on Saturday

Love you all

Hoppy

P.s wasnt train hard on monday I felt like this walking home